Living Life... One Day at a Time.

If you want a cool gift...

2010-07-02T15:39:00.003-05:00

visit my friend's new website/business and check our her droolworth cupcake recipes/gifts, etc... Plus, she's helping a good cause with the moolah!

simplejesstures.wordpress.com

BTW, if you're purchasing the gift for me... I like the Banana Rum:)

The last Monday of maternity leave...

2010-02-22T13:47:00.002-06:00

I am sad. I thought I would be ready to go back to work... but oddly enough, I wish I had a few more weeks. I know that I am not the stay at home kind of girl... but when I look at Miles fighting sleep with all of his might, I smile and get sad at the thought of possibly missing some of his firsts while at work.

I plan on making sure that my mother has my flip-camera ready at all times just in case he starts speaking in sentences at 2 months, lol. I am also planning to teach her how to text when she comes over tomorrow. That should be interesting. She is very tech UNsaavy! I know that if I can text her during the day, it will make it easier for me to not worry about leaving.

On a fun note, B bought me a series of three massages for our anniversary, and I am getting #1 tomorrow! Woot! I know it will be awesome... plus, my mom is going to watch Miles on Friday night so that Barry and I can go out for dinner and drinks with some friends. I'm really looking forward to it. We haven't been out drinking in forever, b/c if I wasn't pregnant, I was shooting up with fertility meds which didn't exactly mix well with booze.

Man, of man, I am looking forward to Friday. I see an amaretto sour (or 6) in my future!

No, I didn't die or get abducted...

2010-02-21T14:17:00.002-06:00

my absence from blogging wasn't due to alien abduction, jail time or death. It was, insert big smile and woot noises here, from enjoying the last few months of my pregnancy and the birth of our first son, Miles Hensley.

Yep, after our long and trying journey to become parents, we now have the most beautiful baby boy in the world. Nope, no bias is in that last statement! Miles was born via c/s after a long failed induction. He entered our world screaming on 01/01/2010 at 3.46 p.m. and he is perfect in every way.

He is now 7 weeks old and growing like a weed. At his 6 week appt he weighed in at 12.12! Not bad for kid that was born at 8.4 and went down to 7.10.

Barry and I are laughing a lot, making mistakes, discovering wonderful and horrible parts of caring for an infant, all while learning even more about each other. It really is everything I imagined and more.

Who knew that I could wake every hour for 7 weeks and still function? Who knew that Barry can sing and dance so well while holding a screaming infant? How does 3 ounces of formula multiply to 12 when it comes back up? How does a baby that has such a small belly/intestinal tract.. stink so badly when he toots... and create so much goose-like poop?

Every day I figure out more and more questions that obviously have no answers;) and I am loving every minute of it.

Stay tuned for pics of Miles very soon!

I am not good at juggling.

2009-10-20T18:14:00.002-05:00

I usually thrive on having too much to do. I happily go from one to the other and am pretty good at doing a lot of work in a very short period of time... until now.

I have 1001 projects that have been started, need to be started, or SHOULD have been started... yet, I sit here in the recliner, typing to myself. I am less than unmotivated. There is not a good work for my level of UN-motivation. I start to think about being productive, and then I talk myself out of it. WTF? These things aren't going to do themselves (b/c believe me, I've waited long enough to test that theory!), but I still sit here.... thinking about a glass of milk, longing for a glass of milk. Yes, we are out of milk, which makes me want it even more, lol

It's my own fault. I agreed to take classes toward my ESL certification, while working full time, trying to do an nursery by hand painting (and I'm anal) way too much of the room, oh, and making a baby, lol

I am stooopid. Now I am exhausted, everything is half-assed, and I'm mad at myself for sucking at multitasking.

From now on, I'm going to say no... and just sleep when I get a crazy idea to do something else. Sleep makes everything better, right?

Okay, weird ramble over.

We have furniture!

2009-09-28T17:19:00.003-05:00

The furniture is here and my wonderful hubs spent the weekend putting it together and dragging it around the room for me:) I'm still not sure on how I want the set up, but I think Barry secretly loves scooting it around, over and over again, lmao.

It is prettier in person than online and is made of real wood, not pressed pulp, so I'm really glad that we decided to get it. Now I need the rest of the material to GET HERE, so that mom can start on the bedding. It was really weird to actually put baby things in the drawers... I may never get used to the idea.

Let's see, this week is parent teacher conferences, and I'm already exhausted. Late nights are not my friend. Plus, my aunt and cousin are staying the weekend at my house and they arrive Thursday when I'm still working... BOOOOOO! So, every spare minute is pent with me running around like a lunatic trying to clean, organize and take my mini BabiesRus store upstairs one item at a time.

Which brings me to this.... pregnancy, back pain and falling-out-crotch pain do not mix with steep stairs.

I passed!

2009-09-21T18:27:00.003-05:00

WOOHOO! Even though my dr's were all doom and gloom about my glucose test, I passed with no problem. Failing is 140 and over and I had a 99! I'm stoked. I guess I'm doing something right, lol

Barry and I decided to order new furniture today! WE were planning to re-purpose a few pieces for the baby's room, but it ended up being a fiasco, so we bit the bullet and ordered a complete new set. I'm excited b/c it's exactly what I wanted with no painting/sanding required, THANK GOD!

I'll post pictures when it gets here~!!

Dreading tomorrow...

2009-09-15T18:31:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow is my glucose test. Let's see... I'm overweight, have PCOS, am extremely insulin resistant and prediabetic. FABULOUS. Can I add in a few more risk factors, probably >;-/

I am dreading the drink b/c I've heard such dreadful things about it... plus I am sooo worried that I will fail the test. I am REALLY trying hard to eat balanced meals with lots of fruits and veggies... but I guess only time will tell.

I have had a bumpy road to get this far, so I am requesting smooth sailing around this turn. That's not too much to ask is it??

On a happy note, I finally got the permanent filling/crown on my problem tooth today. After months of pain/swelling/inflammation etc... it finally feels like nothing. Good ole, nothing. That's how all teetn should feel!

Yes, I hear crickets.

2009-09-12T14:29:00.002-05:00

I have been blog slacker EXTRAORDINAIRE! There has been no good reason. I simply got wrapped up in life... and thankfully, it's been going very well lately. We found out that Baby Boomer is all boy. Barry skipped cloud nine and is sitting happily on cloud 10. I think I'm still in shock over it all, so I'm still just so thrilled to be pregnant every day, that there isn't much room for more excitement:)

Also, we have finally chosen a name... this little guy will be Miles Hensley Boomer. Hensley is my mother's maiden name and the family name of my grandparents that helped raised me. In the end, I let Barry make the final decision, but I can honestly say that I am thrilled with his decision.

We finally got registered, have the baby's room painted, have most of the furniture either bought or in mind... whew. Now we need to actually get the furniture in the room and ready! I am 24 weeks as of tomorrow, so in reality, we are down to at most 16 weeks... and that could vary greatly! Anyway, now that I am over the "who wants to hear about my fears of having a m/c", I will start posting more about our journey.

We have so much to do, so much to learn, and so much to experience. I am SO EXCITED!!

blech.

2009-05-20T19:55:00.003-05:00

That's how I feel every day starting at about three pm. That means I am fine and dandy at work... and then feel like I've been hit by a truck once I have me time. I guess it's better than all day sickness! So far, I am queen of the bloat. All of my clothes fit (that's the good part of chubby, lol) but I can tell that they fit differently than before. I'm excited to be over 1/2 way to the magic 12th week. Barry is so cute, he now kisses me and tell me he loves me and then pats my belly and does the same to the kiddo. We still need to decide on what we are going to call this bambino. Our friend, M, calls the baby, "Spartacus", lol... I've been saying spawn! Anyway, so far, so good. I guess the nausea reminds me that something is happening in there!

BIG NEWS!!

2009-05-18T18:01:00.004-05:00

So our Dr's appointment on Friday went GREAT!! I can hardly believe this, but the following picture belongs to me:

That blip in the center of the black high heeled shoe area is our baby:) We have a heartbeat and are measuring RIGHT ON TRACK!! We are so in love with that little guy, indescribable.

Our next appointment is on the 28th, and we get to see the baby again, and I get to give buckets of blood. Please say a little prayer, if you're the praying kind... or a positive thought, if you're not!

hope to update soon

2009-05-05T18:05:00.002-05:00

I have a very important/invasive DR's appointment on Friday the 15th. Hopefully the dr will give me good news on the TTC front. I do not want to jinx my luck, so no more info will be given until that date. If I get the usual or bad news, I may need to head to the looney bin. Just be aware!!

On another note... FLEETWOOD MAC is this weekend! Doug and I will be partying down in KC! I am so excited I can hardly stand myself... after the show we'll be staying right at the Power and Light District (aka BAR ROW), so that should provide lots of fun and entertainment, too! I haven't been to a real concert in over a year. Loverboy doesn't count, lmfao!! I can only imagine the rockin' awesomeness of FM in concert. I am about to burst with anticipation!!!!!!!!!!

so many DR's appt's, so little information

2009-04-03T20:20:00.003-05:00

So, I did a sleep study. That was a blazing success, if you judge success by glued hair and exhaustion. Yep, that's all I got out of it. They did say that I was borderline in all areas. Yes, my O2 levels dropped, I stopped breathing for a few episodes, yadda yadda. That basically means that I'm not a good candidate for a mask, and I am a good candidate for a mask.

I go back 2 weeks to see what else they say, they mentioned another sleep, study. I can't wait:-/

So, now for my latest dildo cam appt. I'm actually taking gonal f this cycle instead of follistim, b/c a wonderful fellow IFer sent me their extras. So far I prefer FS, b/c the FS pen is so frickin' easy. The multiuse GF is a bit of pain. Anyway, I am also doing the menopur, too... b/c that has shown to make my follicles much bigger, along with my E2 level. I went for CD8 today and my E2 is 58, so we've def got a way to go. I'm continuing the same meds, and go back for my next scan Monday. This is my first of the last three cycles before pulling out the big guns. My heart is still holding out for a baby that is created by sex, but my body always has the last say, and sadly, it is winning.

I consider myself lucky that Barry is so easygoing with the whole fiasco. Cox on Demand is more than a TV channel in our house;)

Today is a day of mixed emotions.

2009-03-31T19:33:00.004-05:00

No, I'm not pregnant, so those emotions are stagnant.

I have made some amazing friends on this shitty roller coaster called life. Some of the best, ironically, have become my friends and bonded with me over monthly longing, jealousy, bitterness and happiness of the land of infertility. One friend, just found out today that her invitro was a BIG FAT BUST. She is funny, kind, snarky, spunky and honest. She will make a wonderful mother to a very lucky child someday. My heart is breaking for her and her husband. Like most people, she doesn't have the extra cash lying around to do as many IVF's as it takes. She's AMA and didn't stim well. Her two surviving embies didn't turn into her much hoped for twins. I just can't get over how sad I feel for her. It's things like this that make me want to scream and throw a fit. I can only imagine all of the friggin' losers that decided to pee on something today and saw 2 lines.... It should have been her, instead.

Now for the other emotion, happiness and disbelief. 2nd friend, who lost a baby at 20+ weeks, just found out that she expecting. They had given up after the pain of their loss. Decided to go the foster adopt route.... hell, she's not had a BFP in over three years before having her miracle taken from her.... then on the week she planned to throw in the towel, on a whim, she took a test and she discovered she's pregnant. She's scared shitless and thanking the moon and the stars for another chance to bring one home. Please, let this one end on a happy note. It makes the other crap hurt a little bit less.

another cycle, coming to an end.

2009-03-26T20:09:00.002-05:00

So today is 11dpo... and I have my hands on whitey. That's the look/name of my latest test. I hate 11 and 12 dpo, b/c as all veteran TTC'ers know, although the box/websites say not to test until 14dpo, most people get a hint of a line by 11 or 12 dpo. My one and only BFP was there on the eve of 10dpo and I even managed to get a digi to read positive on 11dpo.... so I'm assuming, like 99.9% of all of my previous cycles, this one is another bust.

Now I need to make decisions on how many more injects cycles we will do before moving forward. We are switching to military insurance only, come May. That means I will have continued meds coverage, as long as we solemnly swear to do no means of ART with the meds. Yeah, that's the military's way of giving it to the soldiers even when they're NOT on duty, since most couples need at least IUI.

I'm 3 months from 29. Yikes. I expected to be DONE with kids before 30, not trying to figure out why sex doesn't make babies like we were taught in health class. I also know that if we plan to do IVF, the summer would be the best time to do it b/c I wouldn't have to take off work. So, should I do 3 more injects cycles... and then shoot for IVF in July/August? Or should I do another year of injects, b/c of the insurance coverage... and then do IVF June of 2010... as a present for my 30th birthday. Gah, that sounds sad. Hopefully, I won't have to worry about any of this when I get that BEAUTIFUL 2nd line tomorrow....

Yes, I still dream;)

I wish every week were Spring Break.

2009-03-25T19:00:00.003-05:00

A year of Spring Break... that's my dream. I think the older folk call it "Retirement", lol. So I decided to sell my Jeep, figured I'd buy myself some time by only listing it on Craig's List... well, holy hell, it sold in ONE DAY. Yep, I got a call and e-mail one hour after I ht submit and whammo, she bought it. That lead to some serious Internet shopping, wheelin' and dealin' with a man named, Wayne... and I now have a brand spankin' new Ford Edge. It is PRETTY. It's Razorback Red, drives like a dream, and smells like no ones hiney but my own. I have never owned a new car, so I feel special. Sad, yes.

So, let's see in the world of TTC. Same dildo cam, different day. My body is tired of my drug habit. I went from having three fatties, just almost mature on CD 9 to one decent one on CD 12. WTF? Where did the other two go?? Into hiding, on vacation, out to lunch? Needless to say, this cycle is no doubt my billionth bust in a many months trying. I may be destined to be that crazy-assed lady that buys those lifelike dolls and takes them to the park, to the store, etc... Maybe I can also be on the discovery special that highlights these weirdo's, erm, I mean, obviously tired of the dildo cam individuals;)

Anyway, today I decided that maybe I'll take a 2 month break to lose these newly acquired 15 lbs... or, like usual, when the day comes to schedule my next monitoring appt... I'll be the first one one the phone. It's an itch I can't stop scratching.

Same shit, different month.

2009-03-12T19:52:00.003-05:00

So, I guess most people know that last month was a BUST. I had a whopping 9 day luteal phase. That's fabulous, eh? So when I called up the dr's office to schedule yet ANOTHER CD 10 u/s, the nurse was confused and asked if I was sure... well, let's see, after the 3rd tampon, I was pretty darn sure that I could no longer hope it was just implantation spotting. Ugh.

Oh well, the good news, I finally got to meet face-to-face with the satellite coordinator for the fertility clinic in LR. It was nice to actually get to speak to her and get her take on my slew of issues. She thinks I have an estrogen issue along with the progesterone issue. Man, lucky me! So, along with the progesterone supps, I will now be wearing estrogen patches. I'm a walking medicine cabinet! Good thing that my work doesn't do random drug testing, b/c with my fertility cocktail, I fully expect to have electric green urine in the future! lmao

Let's see... the tally for this week is up to 6 co-workers with pregnant children!! All of the children are within a few years of my age. 2 sets are unwanted pregnancies to unmarried couples, 3 are married less than a year, and one got preggo the first month trying. Again, Lucky me!

Where did I get confused and manage to win the INfertility lottery? B/c when it comes to bad luck, I'm pretty much the first in line!

The weekend was much better...

2009-02-22T17:44:00.003-06:00

than anticipated.

Barry and I had a mandatory 3 day military event this weekend. We were scheduled to go the weekend of the big ice storm, but managed to get out of it... and get permission to do the makeup. This one was in Tulsa. We had to check in Friday afternoon at the Convention Center. We arrive, and no one has any information on us, NO ONE. Fabulous. After several people scratched their ass, they signed Barry up, booked us a room, and gave us directions to the hotel.

Upon arriving at the hotel, we had to argue with the reception desk, b/c they couldn't find our reservation.... fast forward, Barry had a night of meetings and was told he would get the schedule of events. I waited at the hotel.... BAR. I planned to grab a soda in the gift shop, but they were closed, so I found the bar. One whiskey sour turned into three, an appetizer, and chitchatting with 2 pilots from Continental. Barry finally arrived and we had dinner, and more drinks, and more drinks.

I found out that only a TWO HOUR session was mandatory. What? HUH? How the hell?? Whatever, I went shopping, picked Barry up at the meeting, we went to lunch, went to the aquarium, went to a bar, had lots of foreign brews, then we went to the Tulsa Oilers Hockey game Fun! Way more fun than sitting in suicide prevention meetings! Let's just pray that I don't ever need that info, lol

Sooo, since I took my HCG trigger on Thursday, I more than likely O'd on our "vacation"... here's hoping that we caught a healthy egg, and that it enjoyed the relaxing weekend of booze as much as I did. I know that I snuggled into bed each night, hopefully we have an embie doing the same even as I type.

My arm is barely attached...

2009-02-09T16:39:00.002-06:00

and I blame all of my pain on B and his tennis match on the Wii;) He plays almost every day, so naturally, he kicked my ass in my first, second and third match. I need to get in practice on the days that he's still at work, but DAYUM, my arm is on fire. I must say, I did beat him on bowling, so his ego isn't quite as big as you would expect.

Anyhoo, Barry and I are back to 100%...well, at least 100% of the crap health that we both have, lol! We are back in the TTC game, so I get to play mad chemist and mix up my drugs. Funny, I have most of my meds stored in the egg compartment of my fridge, b/c it was just the most convenient place. Then I got more than would fit in there, so my meds have taken over the meat compartment. A friend pointed out that it's mighty hilarious that we use the eggs and meat sections to try to make babies. Very fitting, eh?

Who knew that I'd have such a drug habit in my own age??

My Cat...

2009-01-31T19:33:00.000-06:00

is going to either put me in the poor house or make MY hair fall out. He has started licking himself so much that he is removing the fur in large spots and then continuing to lick until he has raw, open sores We have changed NOTHING in his environment.... he has just became OCD about his constant licking.

We've taken him to the vet and he suggested triple antibiotic ointment... which apparently is ecstacy for cats b/c he won't quit licking it off.

We bought and made him wear a t-shirt. He stopped licking his neck and made a new sore on each knee. WTF?

My mom is sewing him a pantsuit, lmao... hoping to cover the sores till they heal. Right now he has on an Elizabethan collar and it's working on parts, but not all of his sores. We're going to have to get a bigger one. If the collar doesn't work and I don't see marked improvement this week, he's going to the pound. JUST KIDDING... but I will be taking him back to the vet.

Anyone have any other suggestions?? Seriously, I'm going to have a cat in a turtle neck, long sleeved, onesie pantsuit next week if necessary.

Ice, Ice, Baby.

2009-01-26T17:33:00.003-06:00

Yep, my driveway is a solid sheet of ice. I came within an inch of busting my ass of the driveway when I went to get the mail. I'm pretty sure that my free sample of organic cat treats wouldn't have been worth breaking my arm. I'm hoping that I don't have to leave the house until it's actually ice-free.

Then again, I'll probably have to go to work when it's still icy, b/c ice is safer than snow, right?? I mean, you can actually SEE the snow. That makes it scary:)

If it gets bad, I'll take pics of it. We're expecting more than 1/2 inch of accumulation. YIKES!

Back to the grind...

2009-01-20T16:00:00.002-06:00

and unfortunately, it's not the bump n' grind kind;) I have let a friend talk me into gyming it at 5a.m. Nope, it's not natural to be sweaty before daylight, but dammit... I need to lose more weight. GRRR! As usual, I have gotten into the happily, fattily, lazily married stage now that B is back home. He has, too... so he plans to run to lose his weight. Yep, one week of running, B will drop his winter fat. 6 weeks of 5 a.m. "body pump" and I will be down 10 lbs, if I'm lucky.

I hope that all of my children are boys so they can be called "stocky", "athletic", hell, even "husky" is better than fat, or my fav: Morbidly Obese. That's such a nice term. So, I'm not storing chicken wings in my bra, but still... I hope to have room to do so here soon!

Goal #1: gym each day through Friday without complaining too terribly much.
Goal #2: Go from there:-D (I'm eyeballing water aerobics)

Good to go!

2009-01-16T16:31:00.004-06:00

All went well with my surgery f/u. Doctor says we can start TTC again as soon as my body decides to get back in the game. They said to call if I'm still waiting for my new cycle in three weeks.... ummm, they forgot that I have provera, so I'm planning to start that at the end of January, so that we can conceive a Valentine's Day baby.

Yes, I'm THAT positive today;)

and for those that have followed my story up till now, I got NO answers as to why things turned out the way they did:(

Next time, I'm going to get only good news from day one.

Tomorrow...

2009-01-13T18:49:00.002-06:00

Is my surgery follow-up. Let me just say, if you hear a loud scream, and uncontrollable fit at about 3:30p.m CST, chances are that my DR has told me that they want me to sit it out for the month of Feb. That is not acceptable. We have guaranteed meds coverage until May. That is waayyy too close for comfort. I refuse to give up a month of covered meds.

Anyone have an extra dildo cam lying around that I can rent;) I'm pretty sure I could do injects monitoring without assistance at this point!

YUM.

2009-01-09T21:18:00.002-06:00

Jack Daniels is good. He is a man that knows how to flavor his booze. I am curently enjoying one too many down home punch beverages. I'm finally in a truly good mood for the first time in 2009. Alcoholism isn't looking too bad right about now.

I'm just sayin... Happy weekend, Peeps!

whoa!

2009-01-08T19:40:00.002-06:00

I have sucked BIG time at updates lately. NO good excuse other than life. I'm taking a few big breaths and hoping that the new year brings us joy and less heartache than 2008.

The end of the year was extremely tough for us.... death of loved ones and unfufilled dreams of a living baby never makes it easy to get out of bed. Even so, my tired ass has to go to work so that Barry and I aren't living in a van down by the river. Sadly enough, we'd have even less room, b/c it would have to be living in a Honda Accord down by the low water bridge.

Let's see... I did make some New Year's Resolutions. Didn't we all?

#1. Update my blog more often:)
#2. Continue with the gym and losing weight.
#3. Gain weight while pregnant with a healthy minime or minib.

Hopefully #2 and #3 will cancel each other out.

Oh yeah, I have officially lost my mind. I've decided to possibly get a booth at the local craft fair in May. My mother is making handmade baby items, and I'm helping her and making some decorative wreaths. Barry's is LOVING the craft area... which is actually our dining room table... hot glue strings anyone???

Just call me Typhoid Mary.

2008-11-15T19:34:00.005-06:00

I sound like a seal, feel like a snot fish and look like a whale. I have barely moved from the couch since I got home from work on Friday. I'm congested, I'm achy, I'm pissy, nothing tastes good... but I'm hungry. Lucky Barry! He has actually been wonderful, as usual, and has made me tea and breakfast, went on a Taco Bell run, etc...

I'm upset that I am sick because the timing is beyond crappy. We are smack-dab in the middle of our third injects cycle. Medicines aren't cheap. TTC with infertility is stressful... and being sick is probably not a positive. My frustration from last cycle's whopping 6.7 progesterone has been a downer, as well. On a better note, my 5dpo progesterone was 15.4 this cycle. For me that is equivalent to a BFP with twins;) I have never in my however many years of TTC, have had a level over 10!!

Even if this cycle is a bust, at least we have now upped my meds enough to get decent progesterone. I had three good sized follicles this cycle... one was on my tubeless side, so it was pretty much lost at sea, but the other two had a fighting chance. If this cycle doesn't work, I will more than likely have a sit down with the doctor and talk about where we go from here. The logical side of me says to try three more times at the good dose so that I can have at least three chances with more than one follicle... but the crazy :I want it NOW: lady in me says, if it hasn't worked in the last three, why would three more make a difference?

I wish I could go back to the innocence of thinking that sex makes babies;-/

To top it all off, an old HS cronie of mine called last weekend to tell me that our mutual friend is KU with number 2 (#1 was a HUGE accident)... the best part, she's due in June b/c she timed coming off BCP's so that she wouldn't give birth during the school year, and guess what, it worked like a charm. Lucky Bitch.

So much for a week;)

2008-11-09T13:37:00.005-06:00

Catching up with Barry took a bit longer than I had planned... so sue me;)

We had our annual Halloween Party last weekend and it was a big success! Lots of people came and the costumes were hilarious! Once Barry gets the pictures downloaded to the laptop I'll post some, they are great! We didn't win yard of the month... again. Feckers. The stupid board says every year that we get 1st runner up b/c they want more people to participate and they like to give the award to different people to boost participation. WTF ever. Our house rules, and it's a big joke every year when we don't get it. Well, we won last year, but still. The rules say best decorated, not "best decorated that didn't win last year". Yes, I'm a bit riled up over it all... I wanted that LOWES gift card!

On another note, Barry's 35th was yesterday. We watched the HOGS lose, played with the nephews and ate cake. Barry is so excited about our trip to NO. He's like a little kid! We're taking a midnight vampire tour, a ghost tour, a riverboat tour, etc... lmao, tourism at it's best.

So last month was a crap shoot for stims. They upped my dose this month and hopefully it will be a much better outcome! I'm hoping that we will have much more to celebrate this Turkey Day!!

Life is grand.

2008-10-20T18:15:00.001-05:00

Barry is home. Safe, sound and full of energy:) I am in love... all over again.

Give me another week or so and I'll be back in full force.

YES!!!!!!

2008-10-13T18:04:00.002-05:00

I will be picking Barry up on Wednesday. I still don't have info on the time, but the date is pretty definite.

Let the games begin!

1 week and 2 days...

2008-10-05T20:31:00.004-05:00

until I head out to the middle-of-nowhere, Oklahoma. YEAH!!!! I'll bet there's never been so many people (ever) truly be this excited to visit the Southern Nazarene University.

I guess there really is a first time for everything.

Please, don't let me (or Barry) burst into flames due to impure thoughts!

2 weeks.

2008-09-29T18:35:00.002-05:00

That is the approximate time until Barry is H-O-M-E. Not just in the US, but home, home. Home with me and the zoo:)

I am giddy with excitement. My stomach is already in knots and I will no doubt get an ulcer from worrying about his flight home. His cellphone will be back on early on October 1st. That's the first "real" step to his homecoming. Granted, he won't be able to use it for several days after the that, but I can still text message him and fill up his voicemail!

I have my new dress, I'm getting my hair cut/colored tomorrow, my nail appt is a week from tomorrow, my house will be cleaned the Friday before he arrives, the mutts have a grooming next week, I need to buy new shoes to go with my smokin' hawt dress... then I'm all set.

I will, of course, do all of the things and Barry will probably notice nothing but the couch and a beer, lol... well, and hopefully, ME!

This is going to be a looooooooooong two weeks. Talk about a killer TWW!!

Medicine companies should be ashamed.

2008-09-22T16:48:00.003-05:00

Seriously. I am amazed at the cost of medicines with and without insurance. It is insane. Right now, thank the heavens, we have insurance through Barry's military deployment. The fertility medicine that I need to induce ovulation is $9 a vial.... I use three vials per month.... that sounds like a great price, right?? Yes, it is... and I have this coverage until May. When this coverage runs out, the same medicine, that I pay $9 bucks for currently, will cost me $1069.

WTF?? Why should a highly insured person be charged $1060 extra dollars because their current plan doesn't cover the meds? I mean, I pay out the ass for insurance very month. Right now, we have double coverage because of the deployment. I could have chosen to drop our normal insurance, but because coverages are so different, I decided to keep both. Maybe instead of paying the premium for the second insurance, I should have been saving the money to pay for the medicine that won't be covered.

I'm sorry, but the idea that a vial of medicine, LITERALLY, smaller than an Avon perfume sample, should EVER cost the consumer over a thousand bucks, is asinine.

Why can't my kids be free like Crack-Whore Christie from the streets???

Talk about LIQUID GOLD. I am stockpiling, so if I ever get knocked up... I will make someone VERY happy:)

I survived the county fair.

2008-09-15T16:48:00.003-05:00

SRSLY. I decided to go tot the county fair with my nephews, sister, BIL and Mom. I fondly remembered overpriced ride tickets, carnies and fried everything on a stick. All of these things were still going strong when we arrived. We passed the Himalaya (I think it was the same one I almost puked on when I was 6), several "guaranteed to win" a 10cent toy for only 5 bucks booths, lots of fried thingamajigs and then we came to the Zipper. My BIL, the biggest kid of all, kept pestering my sister to ride. She flatly refused. My mother did the same. My nephew, the lucky dog, was too short to ride. Guess what, that left me. The biggest sucka in the south.

After tiring of the begging, I agreed to ride the Zipper with the BIL. A vagrant named "Stony", (well, at least that's what he hand wrote on his name tag) locked us into the metal tube of despair. My dumbass BIL handed the guy extra tickets and asked if he could, "make us puke". Great idea.

Stony started us out by using all of his strength to push us into a head-over-heels spin. I was nauseous after that fiasco and we had yet to actually go anywhere. Lovely. My BIL is laughing hysterically at me cursing his existence, I am praying that the ride will stop, and I keep thinking, "I hope the last guy was somewhat clean," because my face was slammed into the padded bar about a million times.

Anyway, the ride keeps going and going and going and I right when I saw the energizer bunny die, it finally ended. We were on the ride for over FIVE minutes. Yes, you read that right. It was somewhere close to 7 minutes in all. Thank the heavens, I had not eaten anything fried... or else I would have been wearing it as a dress.

After BIL and I stumbled off the ride from hell, we were told that Stony keeps it going until there are enough people in line for the next ride. We were at the fair EARLY. No one else was there. Holy hell, I almost kissed the next riders.

I will NEVER ride the zipper again. That was enough zipper to last an entire lifetime. It was everything I remembered, and unfortunately, more. I swear, my fillings are lose and my uterus is no longer tilted!

I think naptime...

2008-09-09T17:44:00.002-05:00

should be mandatory, even for adults. I don't know why, but I am always tired. I know that part of it is b/c I toss and turn and have a hard time getting to sleep. Once I fall asleep, I am easily awakened. I also have a cat that thinks he will die at precisely 6:15 if he is not given soft food. This was endearing for about 2 days, now, not so much. I'm hoping that once Barry returns and I get back into our normal routine, my energy levels will rise and I will sleep more soundly at night. It really is amazing how quickly I adapted to sleeping with him after we got married, but how horribly I have adapted to his absence. The good news... we are under one month until his hiney is back on US soil. He's excited, I'm excited, we're all excited:)

The new plan, (which will undoubtedly change) is that after their long-ass homecoming thank-you ceremony, the guys that live far, far away from Oklahoma City will be given a flight back to their hometown. That would be AWESOME b/c the airport is 10 minutes from home. OKC is 5 hours. That would also mean that I would miss less work, which would be nice considering that my days are like gold until I can build up another cushion. Missing 45 work days in one year is really hard on the sick leave cushion... no, nix that, it DEPLETES that cushion and puts your 20 days in the hole. I will literally be paying the days back 3 a year for the next 7 years. Lovely. What a wonderful reminder of the gross incompetence of my doctors.

I'm struggling...

2008-09-07T18:10:00.002-05:00

with the amount of TTC info that I want to put into this blog. I am torn between feeling the need to get it out there, and the need to keep it all in for fear of too many questions, or worse... failure.

To those of you that have blogged about the good, the bad, and the ugly of TTC... has it made you a happier person, or do you wish that you could take some of your thoughts back?

I want people to understand me, and the reasons for my actions and REactions to things. I want people to know that I am not embarrassed that I am dealing with IF, but on the other hand, I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me, or to start with the "God's Plan" mumbo jumbo.

Also, if I do manage to get the BFP... will I feel the need to make my blog be ALL about that? I really don't know. Maybe I'm weird for thinking about this so much, but I have to wonder, how easily is it to transition from one place in your life to another VERY different one? How do you go from wanting, wishing, waiting... to having it all?

It's the little things...

2008-09-04T17:02:00.002-05:00

I am so excited about my newest Halloween yard decoration. If you have ever met me, or have driven past my house during the month of October, you already know that I am a Halloween freak. I have at least 5 times the decorations for Halloween than I have for Christmas. Yes, I know, it's a bit weird.

I also have a weird obsession with the huge blow-up decorations. It's unhealthy. I want them all. I have a mama spider, a baby spider, a cat with a Merlin cap, a crystal ball with dancing ghosts, a big scary witch with bats flying around.... pumpkins, gourds, hay, skeletons, spiders, eeeeek!

Anyway, I was in Sam's club and they have their Halloween decorations out. ( I love them for that very reason). I am now the proud owner of a 10 ft long cemetery blow-up. It comes complete with lights, music and animations. The spider's prey spins around, the skeleton's eyes light up... it's makes a scary path to my front door. I am so in love with it... it has been in my living room for over a week b/c I like to look at the box and imagine it blown up into it's full glory. Yes, I am sad.

We won yard of the month last October... we deserved it the year before, but I digress. We won September of that year, so the buttholes wouldn't give it to us on the IMPORTANT month of October. Seriously, who needs September? Not me.

I start putting out Halloween decorations on October 1st. I am dying to start earlier this year, but the neighbors might put me in the looney bin.

I will take pictures and post them. You will be jealous. Oh yeah, I also bought new sheets... one side of the pillow says "trick" and the other side says, "treat". Do you think it would be odd to use them year-round??

My new Knife Sharpener works...

2008-08-24T09:23:00.004-05:00

on my knives but apparently not on my brain. I sharpened all of my formerly dull knives and then preceded to use them with the additional force necessary for the dull.. not newly sharpened, knives. I still have 10 fingers, but one is mangled. Maybe I will stick with dull knives in the future. I also managed to ruin some perfectly good zucchini in the blood bath that followed. I'm pissed. Thankfully, mom also gave my fresh squash and it was not yet cut when I decided to add my own special ingredient to the saute pan.

On another note, Barry called late last week and told me that they have the connex packed with all of the extra crap! That's the first step in coming back home! He was really excited. He also thinks that instead of the full week of demobilization, it will hopefully only be 3-4 days, b/c they are doing some prep work in country instead of waiting until they are back in the states. So, give or take a day... we are down to 43 days before he gets on a happy plane out of Kuwait!

Happy Dance, yep... I'm doin' it.

Tagged...

2008-08-18T17:17:00.007-05:00

So a stupid MONKEY tagged me, I suppose because she was out of friends. Since I'm the last person to do this, I guess I will need to tag myself 6 more times.

Here are the rules:
1. Link to the person who tagged you
2. Post the rules to your blog
3. Write 6 random things about myself
4. Tag 6 people at the end of your post and link to them
5. Let each person you have tagged know by leaving a comment on their blog.
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is posted.

Here are my 6 random things:

1. I know how to weld. It might take me a few minutes to remember all of the steps, but I was pretty darn good back in the day. If speech therapy ever fails me, well... I guess I have something to fall back on.

2. I LOVE clove cigarettes. I used to smoke them on occasion when I was piss-ass drunk in college. I can smell them and it immediately makes me want to drink heavily and forget how I arrived back home. Yum. Cloves. They make your lips tingle.

3. I am a foot freak. Dry, scaly feet make me want to vomit. I get pedicures even in the winter so that I don't have them. Barry's feet are horrible. I think that his feet are my cross to bear. They are skank-a-licious. I secretly dream about strapping him to a pedicure chair and hiring someone to get a grinder. SRSLY.

4. Speaking of feet... I had a sewing needle in my big toe for almost 2 months when I was about 4 years old. Apparently, I was running through the house and stubbed my toe near my mom's sewing machine. The needle entered and was lying parallel to the bone so it wasn't obvious other than a small drop of blood. Being that I was the third child and my leg wasn't immediately falling off, my mother thought I was fine (she didn't realize that the needle was missing). 2 months later, when my toe continued to swell on and look gnarly, my mom and dad decided that at-home surgery was the best option. He held me down while she picked at the toe with another needle. Niiiiiiiiiice. I guess after lots of screaming and kicking, she decided that squeezing the toe off was the answer! Out popped the needle and all was well. Thank god for stainless steel... and the immune system.

5. If I lived near a casino, I would be broke and owe a lot of money to a bookie. I love to gamble and could spend all of our money on penny slots. I am not allowed to have the debit card when we go b/c I can't be trusted. I find myself saying..."this is the last $100", way too often.

6. I took voice lessons for years... but as an adult, I hate to hear myself sing. I am my own worst critic. The last time that I sang in public was 1997, at my sister's wedding. I hated it. I wish I had taken piano lessons instead. I will always wish that.

I'm not tagging anyone b/c I think all of my peeps have been tagged. I suck like that.

And it begins....

2008-08-18T17:02:00.005-05:00

I did not win a pallet of sod. I did not win a steak dinner. I did not win anything. I did not eat a McMuffin, b/c the fuckers were too cheap to provide those this year. I was only offered a sausage biscuit, or a sausage cheese biscuit. I chose the latter and it was gross. I guess when McD's has to get over a thousand of those suckers ready all at the same time, the quality isn't much of an issue. Maybe next year.

Okay, on to the real reason for this blog.... obnoxious people with made-up titles. Yes, these are the people who feel that they can tell me how to do my job. Never mind that they have no idea what SLP stands for, who cares if they think speech therapy is for "teachin' people to talk good", who cares if they are not the ones with a SIX year degree in my specialty field... these people are obviously more qualified than I am to decide on what is best for the students in my building.

I have decided to listen to the crap and not do any of it. I figure unless they come over and do it, it won't be done... and when said person decides to break the law by following these asinine rules, I will not lose my license because of the mess. I am now only meeting with them with an administrator, b/c I don't want to deal with a "he said, she said" BS that is bound to come when I grow the balls to file a complaint.

I'm not sure who told the powers that be that I am a follower... but I'm betting that the powers that be will double check their sources next time.

I will NOT agree to do things that I find unethical. If that means that every document in my building is signed by someone else, then so be it. I am a wonderful therapist. I take pride in my job and I love working with the children. It will be a cold day in hell when someone who is my equal decides that they are my boss.

Let the documentation begin.... I'll look great in court.

Back to the grind..

2008-08-12T18:38:00.002-05:00

and it stinks! Well, it's not going to kill me, but I might suffer. The first couple of days back at work have been boring, run of the mill, in-service days. That means that I have been sitting in the back and working on scheduling instead. It usually takes me over a week to get an even close-to-finalized schedule. Each year, I swear, the state makes it more and more difficult to pull kids for this much needed services... so I have to rearrange the solar system to get everything aligned. It is stressful, blech!

Tomorrow is the big day... Chamber of Commerce breakfast. It's where the COC brings all of the teachers in the district... (that's about a billion... seriously, try to find parking and you may think I UNDERestimated the number of cars), to the convention center to tell us that the children are our future, we are the best in the state, they are proud to be a part of the team, we make dreams come true, and so on. The best part is that they provide breakfast... are you ready for this??? Don't be jealous, everyone gets a free egg McMuffin. yep. Oh, and a child sized juice. It's fab. My favorite part is how the district touts the breakfast as a banquet of sorts, and everyone talks about it like we are going to a king's feast... only to be handed a McMuffin. My first year, being as that I was misled, I did not eat before going. Was I ever pissed when I realized that unless I wanted to eat a fellow co-worker, I was going to starve before we were released. I guess it is all worth the time and annoyance (of listening to the speakers), to get entered into the drawing of lots of fabulous prizes. They give away everything from golf passes, to chili's gift cards, to sod (yep... an entire pallet of sod, wtf?... and the most coveted gift... a case of wine. I cross my fingers every year when they are drawing for that one, but I have yet to win. Anything. Oh well, it could be worse, last year, my vegetarian co-worker won a steak dinner from Ryan's Steakhouse and Buffet. BARF. She couldn't give it away. I'll report back on the juicy goodness of my McMuffin... and on the winner of the sod.

If Barry's homecoming could coincide with the deliciousness of the McMuffin... I'd be knocked up for sure. DANG!

Happy Happy, Joy Joy!!!

2008-08-10T17:23:00.003-05:00

57 days until my hubby is flying out of hell!! At the aforementioned meeting, the tentative dates were discussed and give or take 2 days, we're down to less than two months before he is back in the states. That means approximately 67 days until bowchickawowwow... Barry is back HOME!!!!

OMG!! I'm so flippin' excited! I'm ready to get my old life back... go on vacation, sleep through the night, hold hands, go to bed with a bang, and wake up with a smile.

FYI... my blogging will be non-existent for say, oh... two weeks after he is home;) Maybe more!

Where the hell did my summer go??

2008-08-06T11:51:00.003-05:00

I woke up this morning, sun shining, birds chirping, cat meowing incessantly...only to realize that this is my last Wednesday of freedom.

WTF? I had so many plans for this summer, places to go, people to avoid... and here I am, 4 days from the beginning of hell, and I have done a whole helluva lot of nada. Man, it actually feels nice! Since Barry has been gone, I haven't been running around, eating out, taking road trips, nothing. I have been spending some time with my family, but mostly , I have enjoyed the summer. I have slept late, stayed up late, shopped on the Internet, played Wii and watched T.V. Hard life, eh??

I realize my horrible fate means that Mothers all across the US are singing a song of sweet freedom. Buttholes. I'd like their kids more if I only had them in the summer, too... lol

As the summer comes to an end, I am also very happy... I am that much closer to having Barry back. That much closer to living the life that I had planned. I can annoy someone other than Ozzie and Olivia for a change. They will be pleased. I will have my partner in crime, my Clyde!!

Well, Bonnie's couch and TV are calling. She must answer.

It's working!

2008-08-04T08:58:00.002-05:00

I was having trouble doing the low-carb diet... and trying to get enough fiber. I started searching for an alternative plan that would still help me lose weight, but not make me count points or pay out the ass for meals to be delivered to my door. Thanks to a friend from a different site, I am doing a very easy food combining eating plan. It's "good for you" food, just making sure not to eat carbs and proteins together. Seem easy? It is... well, there are a few other rules, but nothing that I haven't got cemented in my head after just one week on the plan.

So... I started last Monday, weighing in a way overweight. I'm proud to announce that as of this morning, I'm way overweight.. minus 3 pounds! WOW!! GO ME!

I think this plan should help me knock off some more weight before Barry gets home and I start shooting up again. My goal is to lose 15 pounds by October 1st! Wish me luck!

Visits... but no comments.

2008-07-31T18:22:00.002-05:00

I get very few comments on my blog... then again, I don't comment on very many, either. I know that I get hits from all over the world, but I average 1 -2 comments from the same loyal readers... you know who you are. Smooches to you. So, I want to send a few shout-outs... To my readers in Sydney, Australia, and Middle of Nowhere, Gabor... HOLLA!

I will do more shout outs as I feel the need.

Maybe I need to be more interesting. Fuck! I'm already out of ideas. Oh well, I'm sure something will come to me:)

What's the number for 911?

2008-07-30T16:48:00.006-05:00

Seriously. I think that question was asked by a highly-paid military droid. (from now on, in my posts, all things military will be referred to as: IGOR). So Igor sent out not one, not two, but three, large print, too many pictures, no important information fliers, this past week. Igor's newest plan is that military wives need to sit through an 8 hour reintegration briefing. Apparently, this is a MUST do or else Barry will leave me, the war in Iraq will come to a halt, milk will sour, and McCain/Obama will run on one ticket. SRSLY.

This reintegration meeting was not necessary for Barry's first deployment... and he managed to not chop off my head and feed it to the squirrels, but alas, Igor told me that they have new things written in the "how to" manual, so I will be going to the meeting.

This meeting should be swell... they have scheduled 8 meetings across the state of OK... all at churches and such. They will provide lunch and free child care! SCORE!! This means that most persons will bring the entire family and assume that someone else is watching their kid all day. I'm totally psyched.

Anyway, back to the letters of triplicate. In reading these letters, I discovered that in order to attend the meeting, I must register online or by calling a 1-866 number. I decided to go online. Big mistake. Since I have not registered for a user name on IGORNEEDSAREALJOB.com, I cannot access the area for registration. In order to register, I need Barry to give the blood of a pigeon to a one-armed monk. Being as that he's not here, I can hardly get him to do that right now. This means that I need to call the 866 number.

I'm praying as the phone rings... PLEASE let me get an human and not need to talk to an IGORbot. I am so pleased when a drab computer voice welcomes me to IGOR007... phone operation system. I am annoyed when it tells me to "enter my pin at any time". So, in the spirit of all things IGOR, I start pushing random numbers in hopes of guessing someone's, no make that anyone's pin. I then scream, "operator", "main menu", and "asshole" into the phone. Based on the dial tone, I am guessing that those are not my pin, either.

I then dig through all of my IGOR paperwork to find a phone number for a human being. After 10- minutes I reach Heather. She proceeds to tell me that she is so sorry.... (I laready knew that), the letter that was signed and sent by IGOR has a few numbers transversed.... I will need to call a new 866 number to register for the training.

She follows up with making sure that I received a copy of Igor's very useful, albeit completely moronic and unhelpful, newsletter. I refrain from asking her if I hadn't received it in triplicate, then how could i possibly have known about the pin-code fiasco. I nicely said "yes"...

I have now left a message with a "hotline" for Igor to call me back.
Man, I love Igor.

69...

2008-07-29T08:50:00.003-05:00

Days to go. That is the countdown for Barry's flight out of hell. I mean, Iraq. This date is the only one that has been uttered for more than a week, so I'm sticking with it until it changes, lmao. The last two months always seems to fly by, which is fab. I start back to work on the 11th, so that makes the days go by faster, as well.

I just booked Barry's surprise 35th birthday trip. (The good thing about him being in Iraq is that I know he doesn't read my blog!) We will be spending a week in New Orleans! He has wanted to go foreveah... and I've always put him off b/c I have been. Anyway, I decided that his birthday is as good of a day as any!! I plan to wrap the itinerary and that will be his present.

My mom will keep the mutts, a good friend will house sit... so other than planning a few "tours", we are all set. We are going to have dinner at Emeril's one night... yum! We plan to do a vampire/ghost tour, a few cemetery tours, maybe a swamp tour, and hopefully, a plantation tour.

Any other "must do's"??? This will be my first trip since Katrina, so I am interested to see the changes! Woo Hoo.. VACATION. It's 4 months away!!

Bad Things Happen In Threes...

2008-07-28T15:48:00.003-05:00

Right?

#1. So some jackass decided to use their entire body weight while opening the car door into MINE. Good grief, WTF? I was parked in a handicapped spot b/c of my mother. Those spaces are what 15 feet wide?? Any idiot could park far enough away to keep from hitting me, but nope. I have a nice big dent in the passenger side front door. It's obnoxious, but not bad enough to deal with insurance. I'm pissed.

#2, So we had big winds from the storm last weekend. I head a weird boom outside, but didn't think anything of it. Needless to say, when my neighbor rang my doorbell and asked if I had looked at my lawn, I panicked. I about died when I saw that the weird noise was my maple tree splitting in half! Holy shit, are you kidding me? The neighbors with the Bradford Pear Trees... the dumbest tree in America, no problem. Me, 10 year old maple, snapped like a twig. This past week, I spent writing check to everyone and their brother's dog to remove the stump, haul the tree, replace and plant a new tree. If this one breaks, I plan to pour cement over my entire yard and just throw some plastic flowers in for looks.

#3, I'm pretty sure that my washer is dying a slow death. It has been talking to me in squeals and groans for over a week. I refuse to replace it until the bitch sucks in her last breath. I am hoping that this will hold off until Barry gets home in October. If not I may have one hell of a dry cleaning/laundry bill.

Back in the saddle...

2008-07-06T14:38:00.002-05:00

of my diet. I was doing FAB... until Barry came home and then I let myself slip. I haven't gained any back, but I haven't lost an ounce, either. After Barry's return, was my birthday, followed by the 4th. Wowzers, I didn't just fall off of the wagon, I let it run me over.

Anyhoo, I am back 100% on plan TODAY. I have lost the weight doing a healthier version of Atkins, so I'm back to that. The first three days always sucks, so I'm crabby. Good thing I can stay home and not piss others off... it may be a different story on MSG boards, tho. bwhahaha.

I have also been a big slacker on working out since summer break. Sure, I get exercise by doing gardening, playing with the nephews and swimming, but it's still not the same. I am so ready for the gym about 2 miles from my house to open. The are projecting an August opening date. I'm so excited. Until then, I'm planning to walk the neighborhood every other night until I get back into the swing of things. Tonight is Day One of "Mission: Get Head Out of Ass".

Wish me luck.

Happy LONG Weekend!!!

2008-07-05T08:25:00.001-05:00

Wow, I will need a week for sleep after this holiday weekend! I have several BBQ's, a day of shopping, 3 days of eating;) and 3 night of fireworks to attend. I love it!

Be safe and enjoy our INDEPENDENCE!!!

Thanks!!

2008-06-30T09:44:00.002-05:00

Thanks to everyone for all of my "Birthday Wishes"! All in all, it was tons of fun. Barry rocks, as usual, and he bought me a Wii AND a beautiful dozen pink roses. :swoon:

I suck at Wii, but I am having so much fun. Yes, I am still a child! Okay, now I have to decide what to take to the 4th cookout.... any suggestions?

Here we go again...

2008-06-24T08:59:00.002-05:00

I guess we'll be trying again come September or October. After injects, a trigger shot and 4 beautiful follicles, my progesterone on 9dpo was a 2.6! I guess that was my body giving me the finger, ya think?

We are going to increase the meds, stim for a shorter amount of time, use a stronger trigger and take progesterone from the get-go. I will also be monitored much more closely this time around.

Now all I need is for the deployment to end.

Big sigh...

Only 12 more weeks or so...

2008-06-16T17:36:00.002-05:00

until Barry's battalion packs up and gets the hell outta Dodge, er, well, Iraq. Our visit was wonderful. It was so nice to have us time even if it was peppered with sadness from his father's illness. We spent every other day at his parents house... and then did something fun or relaxing the other days. We ate at every restaurant in NWA, lol. I'm not really joking.

Barry's father is at home with Hospice care, and he continues to have his good days and bad. I am worried that he will pass and Barry will not get to be here form his funeral. Barry said his goodbye while he was here, but it still weighs heavily on my mind.

On the TTC front, My first round of inject was a breeze. My body was very slow to react, but now we have a much better idea of what to do when we have the next round. I feel that this was a test run, so I have very little hopes of getting that elusive BFP... but I guess stranger things have happened, right?

Who knows maybe Barry will come home to a preggo belly. I can hope, can't I??

Until next time!

Bittersweet Visit

2008-05-29T07:33:00.002-05:00

For those of you who I haven't gotten around to telling... Barry will be coming home today for approximately 2 weeks. I am very happy to see him but saddened by the reason for his visit.

Barry's father is gravely ill and will not be with us much longer. He is currently at his home with hospice care. Hospice is administering pain management only at this time. He has not eaten for days, and refuses any type of help with nutrition.

Please say a prayer that Barry will be home in time to talk with his father before he passes.

I'l be gone for a few days from here, but will update soon.

Letters I never send...

2008-05-21T17:18:00.003-05:00

Wow, work has really gotten in the way of my blogging lately. The good news is that we only have 6 more days of school! I am so excited to start my summer, but I'm also bummed that Barry won't be here. We spend so much time together in the outdoors...I always notice his absence more when I'm playing or working outside.

Anyway, the reason for this entry is something completely different. I find that I have been writing Barry quite a few letters lately... letters that I have not sent. These letters are pages of my feelings, insecurities about everything and about our struggle with IF. When I write them, I feel like it is a way for me to get out what I would say to him if he were here... yet I can't bring myself to put them in the mail. I feel that he has enough on his plate without worrying that I'm catching the next train to the crazy farm. Instead, I write these letters, put them away, and then start over and write a letter that is full of surface information only. I don't know what this says about me. I have no issue with sharing my feelings with Barry. We are very open and honest, yet I feel the need to protect him while he is not just my husband, but a soldier.

Maybe when he gets home I will give them to him.... then again, probably not.

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy!!!

2008-05-14T19:23:00.002-05:00

I'm doing a dance today. I had my repeat HSG today. My right tube is open... and beautiful:)

I was so nervous that it would be blocked, but the dye went through so easily I was almost shocked. That means we can try injects before moving on to IVF!!!! I can't wait to tell Barry! We might get to have a baby the sort-of old fashioned way. Well, old fashioned meaning there will be sex with my husband... instead of a man in a lab mixing everything up in a petri dish!

Now I just need to get my hubby home!

My personality...

2008-05-09T16:43:00.002-05:00

I realize that I am a bit too outspoken, brutally honest and overly sarcastic. Sorry to say, I think I might spontaneously combust if I weren't being a sarcastic jackass. I have had a few people as of late try to say that my type of humor is inappropriate. You know what? Screw them. I have come to realize that most people that don't like me... aren't smart enough to understand my jokes. Well, the joke is on them. Yes, I shoot my mouth off quite often, but you know what, I am a genuinely nice person. I can listen, give great advice, respect differing opinions and laugh at myself. I have been letting the negativity of others make me second guess myself lately and it pisses me off. This is me, plain and simple. Take me or leave me. I refuse to "take it down a notch". You either get all or none of me. Man. I feel better already! Don't recruit me for fun, and then bash me on the other side.

Second, WTF is up with the jealousy and name calling regarding friendships and cliques?? Yes, in life, there will be groups of people that migrate toward the same things. It's called common sense. Not everyone will get along. Not everyone will like you, me, her, him or any of our opinions. Get over it. If you don't like me or my clique, then move your ass along. You can't have the best of both worlds. You get us or you don't. Don't ask us to leave and then get pissy because we have chosen to carry on our fun outside of your area. Why is it that the person who sits on the bench always knows how to play the game better than those on the court??? Cliques are not groups of people that drew the same lottery numbers, we're people who TALK to others, we put ourselves out there to find friendships. If you have a problem with friendships that do not include you, step it up and see if you'd fit in. We're fun... I was the new girl once upon a time. Now I'm that annoying one;)

If you have no clue what I'm harping about... consider yourself lucky. If you do know, either join in on the fun, or put your jealousy card away b/c we're not accepting them at this time.

Cleaning...

2008-05-04T14:16:00.003-05:00

It never ends.

I have a sickness. I get a wild hair to clean something... then I get sidetracked and there is a huge mess behind me. aaaccck! Today I decided to go through our bathroom and get rid of any 1/2 used, old or just unliked products. So I have my trash bin, my give to someone bin and my maeb I should try this one more time bin. Well, as you may have guessed, that's the one that gets me in trouble.

I now have lime citrus smelling hands, (decided to keep), way too crunchy hair(toss out that spray), smooth feet (give to mom... it smells too fruity) and a variety of other things that have played musical bin. I may naver have to buy soap, lotion or hair serum again.

Am I the only person who has a "product problem"??? Say it isn't so. I don't ever think I am over buying... but whoa! It's outta control. I would take a picture, but you'd swear it was a walmart isle.

Friday night...

2008-05-02T19:34:00.002-05:00

and I'm blogging. My life is sad. Is it October, yet?? Speaking of my hubby, he called a few minutes ago. It was odd b/c he never calls me on a Friday night, I was surprised... and damn thankful that I had my phone on me and not in my purse, on vibrate, which is the usual.

Anyhoo, he and I talked for a while and it was so clear and "normal" that it was almost like he was on his way home from work. Usually, the connection sucks, I can hear other soldiers in the background and he is really rushed to get back to the grind. Tonight was none of the above. He actually brought up the IVF stuff. It was such a relief b/c up until this point, it has always been me initiating that part of our convo's and I can't help but feel as if I have a little naysayer on my shoulder reminding me to question his want for the next step.

Tonight he basically said that he is doing everything in his power to get leave so that we can possibly get started before school starts back. Once they hear about "planned" leave... if he is on the no-go list, he plans to talk to the chaplain and explain our situation. I was very touched, happy, humbled, thankful, and overjoyed that he is finally showing me that he is just as much on board as I am. I jokingly told him that my want for his biological child was really putting a kink in my plans. Good thing he thinks I'm funny.

He sends many thanks to ALL who have sent care packages... he especially enjoys the iDog.

Back from my trip!

2008-04-29T20:57:00.002-05:00

My trip to San Antonio was great and horrible all the same. The kids were adorable, as always... the weather was nice, the festival was great... but the trip ended with my Mom and Sis getting into a HUGE, tear the family apart, nether will admit guilt, knock-down-drag-out.

Lovely. Both have called me and my other sis a bazillion times to rehash their side of the story... both of which is somewhere in the middle of true and false. How in the hell do I stay out of something this big?

I can see a bit of each side... but tend to think that my mother's reasoning is *more* valid.

Feck, help! I'm about to block both of them from my cell phone!

On a better note, I did a bit of shopping for my proposed skinny pics. I will be smokin'. I also bought a new swimsuit... and it is very obvious that I've lost weight! Go me! I did 3 miles on the treadmill today, and followed that up with a major leg workout. I will be hurtin' tomorrow!

Where does the time go?

2008-04-22T20:12:00.004-05:00

I have been searching for a few things on the internet, loading pictures to photobucket and just generally spending too much time on the computer. As I was digging through my digital camera pictures, I found a few scans of HPT's from when I first got excited about the possibility of a BFP. I can clearly remember how "green" I was to infertility. It never crossed my mind that it could/would happen to me. Granted, I knew that I had PCOS, but doctors have told me for years that with the magical pill, Clomid, I would have so many babies that I'd take up residence in a shoe.

As I looked at the scans I noticed that they were so obviously negative that it was crazy for me to even hope. I gladly got pulled into WTT and the feeding frenzy that ensues when someone posts a STARK white "do you see it" picture. In a way, I miss being that girl. The one who dutifully took my meds, had many a date with the dildocam, and made sure to fork over a gazillion bucks to get the chance for a doctor to "bypass my cervix". At the time, Clomid was Latin for "instant BFP". Now, I realize that BFP is and acronym for... "Better Forget Pregnancy", and Clomid is Latin for... "not in this lifetime".

I find that I have settled in the role of infertile hag, very well. I am annoyed easily, I fret about the what-if's, I over analyze the why-nots, I feel copious amounts of jealousy for people that I have never met... and then I an ridden with guilt for those feelings.

Just today at work, I looked at a few of our students who have more siblings than their parents have good sense, and it made me incredibly sad. I work in an area where the families are 200% poverty. That is 12K for a family of four. The reality is that, though they cannot afford more children, they can't bring themselves to stop having them.

I have wondered if they are living a better life than I, poverty and all... because even though they have nothing in comparison to most, they have the one thing I have been unable to obtain~~ the love of a child. Maybe jealousy goes both ways.

I feel accomplished!

2008-04-19T12:39:00.003-05:00

First of all... I talked to Barry this morning! He sounds exhausted and he has caught a bad case of homesick. He can tell you the exact number of days they have been there, how many till they hope to come home, etc. If he doesn't get leave, we're hoping that they will start packing up shop in August.. to be back stateside in early September and back home by late September. Anyway, he says thanks in advance for any care packages. I think he enjoys opening them more than the stuff inside!

Now for my feeling of accomplishment. I just got home from our local Race For The Cure. When all was said and done, I logged a little more than 5 miles and I didn't even break a real sweat. I would have been huffing and puffing this time last year, hence the sense of accomplishment. I'm so excited to start noticing how my weight loss is having an effect on more than just my appearance.

The organizers are thinking that we (our local race) will have the first $million dollar event since starting! Each year it has grown, and this year they expected to reach 1 million dollars from Fayetteville, Arkansas. Amazing, isn't it! It was very humbling to see the sea of pink during the survivors parade. Many women of all races, sizes, backgrounds, educations and ages... all walking together with pride on their faces. It was amazing to be amongst such strong women.

I am lucky that I have not had to face breast cancer, nor has any closer family members. However, that doesn't mean I can just sit back and relax. I have friends that face this battle, and I want to show my support.

So, I'll step off of my pretty pink soapbox... and smile because not only did I support a GREAT cause today, I also unearthed a little piece of the old, non-fat version of Vanessa. I knew she was in there... screaming to get out!

my face...

2008-04-16T16:04:00.002-05:00

is busted. Blech. My whole fam-Dam-ily took my Papa out to dinner for his 85th last night... and after dinner I was playing with my 18mo old nephew, Van. Well, about 2minutes in... he accidentally headbutted me, straight on, full force, WWF style. Immediate nosebleed, watery eyes and severe pain followed. My yelp was heard for miles. Lovely, everyone in the restaurant looked at me in horror as I ran to the bathroom. (ummm, lady, I didn't get blood in your meatloaf, get over it) yeesh.

Anyhoo, I woke up this morning with my left nostril swollen shut, a beautiful perfectly round bruise on the bridge of my nose, and a nice set of half raccoon eyes. I am lovely. I attempted to cover it with makeup but must not have done a very good job b/c everyone at work today kept looking at t me with that, "who did she piss off", kind of look.

Based on the past few days and my vacations from sites that I won't mention... apparently everyone. Hello! I'm a certified, Grade A, top of the line, SMART ASS. I wouldn't have it any other way... and neither would you!

Hello, Again.

2008-04-13T10:51:00.002-05:00

Great song, bad movie. Anyhoo...

I got to talk to Barry for a nanosecond yesterday. He was made to get off the phone after 3 minutes so they could clean the call center. WTF? I pretty sure that they can clean around the soldiers that have waited for over a week to talk to their loved ones. Besides, how hard could it be to clean a call center? Am I missing something?

Oh well, he sounded very tired, but had some POSSIBLE good news. Apparently, the battalion is slotted to get some additional soldiers to fill in the gaps. If this happens.... drum roll please, Barry may get a two week leave!! EEEKKK.I know, I know... it is stupid for me to get even one ounce of my hope up, but I can't stand it. If he gets leave, not only will I get to bow-chicka-wow-wow... but we can hopefully get the ball rolling on our IVF before the end of the year!!! Our plan is for me to go through the procedure at the beginning of August if at all possible, that way the EDD would be the end of the school year, and I wouldn't have to miss so many days of work during the ER and ET!

The only thing that Barry would miss would be the hormones and the procedure. He is due back int he states hopefully early September, so he is okay with the proposed timeline.

I can already hear the whispers... every person who knows me will be counting 9 months in their head and then when they realize the time of conception is during Barry's deployment... oh lord.

WTF?

2008-04-09T20:44:00.001-05:00

My signature was deleted... again. What gives???

F'em. I'll post my avon link here... and then link my blog from my siggy. Bitches.

The Devil's Exercises...

2008-04-09T19:36:00.002-05:00

I am talking about squats and lunges. I call these the devil's exercises... b/c anyone who actually likes the human race would not have thought of them. They are painful. They look so easy, and hurt so badly. If I keep up my hard work, I will be able to crack a walnut with my thighs. No lady purse involved. Mind outta the gutter!!

Speaking of lady purses, I may sell mine on eBay with the header,
"Gently used, one-of-a-kind, lady purse"

The description will include...
"Selling due to lack of use, not due to defect"
"As is, no exchanges or returns if it is not the correct size, shape or color."
"All original parts"
"Needs occasional fringe trim"
"Item comes from a smoke free home"

What do you think?? What should I ask for starting price???

Success!!!

2008-04-08T19:30:00.002-05:00

I'm back, in full force.... or is it farce? Ah, who cares?? I'm trying to catch up with my lost peeps!

You know that you missed me.

I'm back... well, almost.

2008-04-06T11:14:00.004-05:00

My computer fiasco is still just that... I have direct access to my laptop but the tech's worked for over 4 hours yesterday and I still don't have connection to the PC or wireless. Man, I miss Barry... he would have had it fixed in about 10 minutes. It was funny b/c B's boss said, "Too bad Barry's in Iraq, he's our best guy on this stuff." Um, yeah, duh.

So I get the joy of having even more strange men in my house next week. I'm stoked.

Now, onto the real reason for my daily ramble.

As many of you know... I am getting very close to the big 5-0! I have lost 38 lbs, and feel sooo much better. 50 pounds is a heavy 1st grader. 50 pounds is a fat bulldog. 50 lbs is... well, disgusting. Good LAWD, how did I let myself get so fat? I have asked myself that a bazillion times and this is the only logical answer that has come to me.

After months and months of fertility treatments, I have no baby belly to show for it... so it only makes sense that all of the eggs that I produced have joined in a effort to make my ass grow in lieu of my uterus. My eggs are roughly 27.9 years old. They are very intelligent. They have sat through many a biology and anatomy class with me. It is obvious, that while I slept, daydreamed and played on my cell phone, they were paying attention. They hatched a plan to make me pay for all of the abuse and pre-ripening that I have put them through for the past 15 months.

I did not realize that my eggs were so smart... so manipulative. Seeing as that I was ignorant of their plan, what did I do??? I gave them months of STEROIDS! AHHH!!! No only did I produce more soldiers, but they were also stronger than their leaders. No wonder I ballooned to a baby elephant before realizing what had happened. The leaders made many a sneak attack during those 15 months. My ass grew slowly, but surely, in every direction.

See, I know this story to be true, b/c once I took away the steroids and have not been pushing my eggs out before they are destined to make an appearance... I have done nothing but lose weight. There you have it. Happy, undisturbed eggs make for skinny asses. The end.

Unhappy eggs=fat ass.

ETA: unknown ass. Thankfully, not mine.

Undisturbed, sleeping eggs= happy ass.

The Stone Age...

2008-04-02T18:28:00.002-05:00

That is my current status. Damn the storm. I managed to lose a modem, router... and now my laptop is "terminal"... lovely.

I have a new modem and router, but the PC won't recognize the new router, so I'm without wireless. Kill me now. I do not do well at a desk. I need to be able to roam, laptop at my side.

Think of me as you check your e-mail without hassle.

I'll be back.... suckas!

I'm just tired.

2008-03-30T16:39:00.002-05:00

Tired of living the single life. Tired of trying to save money that isn't there. Tired of work. Tired of being tired all the time... and mostly just tired. I'm to the point of Barry's deployment that I have forgotten what it is like to wake up next to him. The smell of his cologne has faded. The dogs will no doubt bark at him and be confused when he gets home. This is the hardest part... knowing that the longest stretch is still to come. At first, the absence is new, I kind of enjoy getting caught up on all of the "me" time. I finish up odd projects, I start a few new hobbies, I still have a few random pieces of Barry just lying around... his shoes, work jacket, his favorite beer in the fridge... then it gets to now. I have put all of the laundry away, the beer was consumed by a visitor and his pillow is just that, a pillow. That makes me unbearably sad.

A year is a very small part of our life together, but it is almost too much to take. Is it October, yet?

I must be stupid...

2008-03-29T11:36:00.003-05:00

You now, apparently struggles with IF go hand-in-hand with ignorance. How else can I explain the interesting conversation between myself and a close family member???

When asked about our IVF timeline, I recapped a lot of "what-if's" and "hopefully's" pertaining to the end of Barry's deployment. Obviously, I can't make a baby without at least one male contribution. Seeing as Barry is currently a bazillion miles away, we can't really do much until his return. Anyway, back to my story. After explaining everything to this person, she proceeds to tell me that her friend, let's call her, X, had to "almost do IVF". I took the hook, and asked about it, because I didn't know that X had difficulty with TTC.

This is the story...

"Yeah, X was so worried that she was going to need IVF. She tried for almost 6 months... and even had to take her temperature every day and have sex at really specific times. GAHHHH, the horror... Wait, why didn't I think of that?? You mean, there is a specific time of the month that sex is necessary for a baby? No way! Who knew? I must be a

After biting my tongue, I smiled and said, "Um, that is there first step on a really loooong road that unfortunately ENDS in IVF"... then like I had been speaking to deaf ears, she asks me..... wait, any guesses???...

"Have you tried any of that stuff???"

I am so happy to know that temping will not only make me ovulate, but it will also surpass my remaining fucked-up tube AND allow for Barry's sperm to swim across the ocean!!

Shame to all that knew that and never enlightened me.

Work is stressful...

2008-03-26T18:17:00.003-05:00

I'm so tired right now. I love my job... but the last nine weeks is 90% paperwork and conferences, 9% testing, and MAYBE 1% direct time with students. It bites. I have almost killed two different agencies for not having their ducks in a row. I hate it when other people make me look incompetent!

Anyway, I am a stress eater... not good. I don't want to put even an ounce of weight back on, but I find myself nibbling without even realizing it. So today, I bought baby carrots and celery in an attempt to have healthy, low-calorie food available to munch. Kudos to me. I also find that due to sheer exhaustion after dealing with idiots and assholes all day, I haven't been feeling like dragging myself to the gym like I should. I have been doing light cardio and some stability ball work, but not enough to truly count. I guess something is better than nothing, but still... I have got to get my ass back in gear. I train tomorrow... so that should help, then I plan on sitting down and making a schedule to at least every other day actually going to the gym. I am soooo ready for summer and the opening of the new, literally 3 miles away, SUPER gym. Ahhh... no work and water aerobics in a heated pool. What more could a girl want??

Taxes and other BS.

2008-03-25T18:18:00.002-05:00

So I just spent and hour and a half at the tax place... again. The poor preparer probably hates me. Having a house in two states, having pay from two states, having both regular and active duty military, plus a host of other weirdness, does not bode well for ease in preparing our taxes. Last time I left, we owed 981 bucks to federal... I almost flipped. We were getting back a whopping 300 bucks total from the two states. Since our taxes have been screwy since we married, I knew that couldn't be right. Being a DINK family is also a bad thing. I asked if I could claim my Westie's as a deduction, b/c let's face it... I spend as much on them as I would children. The lady told me that she'd try it if I could figure out a way to get them a SS #... hmmm, Idea for next year??

Anywho, after trying everything (can I claim my last colonoscopy as a work related expense??? bwahahaha) under the sun, we finally figured out that we were being double taxed on the 25 K from the military. Once we got that fixed... voila! Refund. Almost 2000. Makes me mad, b/c I hate the gov't holding onto my money... then again, since it goes straight in the IVF fund, it was probably best to let them hold onto it. I enjoy spending. 'Nuff said!

Oh yeah, back to my origional reason for this rambling blog... it cost me 280 bucks to get it prepared. GEESH! It was 350 before I received the military discount. WTF? Highway robbery.

Spring!!!

2008-03-24T11:18:00.003-05:00

Man, I am loving the spring weather. I just planted my new Crepe Myrtle, weeded the front flower beds, sprayed weed control on the lawn, and raked the remaining leaves! Each time I spray weed control, I get so annoyed at my neighbor. We live in a very manicured subdivision... I chose to move here b/c I hate craptacular lawns. Well, wouldn't you know that the family that moved in across the street doesn't even know how to spell LAWN??

They got rid of the lawn servicing company, which is fine... if they would even half-way maintain it themselves. However, they choose to allow it to look like a frickin' Laura Ingalls Wilder intro. There are more weeds than grass... and that means that the weed seeds and pollen do what... yep, you guessed it they float and/or run on over into MY yard. Yeesh. The sidewalk in front of my house has dandelions growing in the edging area! ACK! I wonder if they would get the idea if I bought a big gallon of "weed control" spray and put it on their front porch...

So all morning long, I had to spray THEIR weeds. UGH. I'm gonna take a picture. Yep..b/c no one can fully understand it w/o a picture.

Okay, pic of my lawn into good neighbor's yard... notice still-dormant sod and absence of weeds.

Pic of good, across the street neighbor who has to share property line with dumbass...

And now... for the main event. Please keep in mind, this lawn was perfect two years ago before the laziest family on the planet moved in...

Okay, I'm sure that everyone is thinking that I'm beyond anal about my lawn. Well, I am. Sod is expensive... care of said lawn is, too... so quit being a dumbass and at least think about what your weed-a-polooza is doing to your neighbor!

Don't EVEN get me started on their total lack of fence maintenance. That's another post all in itself.

Anywho... I need to go put down my new mulch. I'll stop bitching, for now.

Who Knew:)

2008-03-22T13:42:00.003-05:00

Who knew that I would have so much to say to myself via the Internet? I should have started blogging long ago.

Anywho... Barry called today:) He is the only person who is allowed to call me at 5:30 a.m. on a Saturday and not get a swift kick to the ass. He is doing well, hates the war, loves me, yadda yadda. He requested lotion and razors.... he said that they keep running out of those two things as the shopette. He also said that if they would quit worrying about stocking Nell Carter DVD's, maybe they could keep other more *usable* items in there. I cracked up.

We are counting down the days until September 1st... that is when they will hopefully be packing to come home. Anything after that is just hours:) For the mathematically challenged, that is 163 days to go. 163 sexless days. Kill me now.

On another note, it's almost 2 o'clock and I have been super productive... if you count spending too much money on myself as productive. I have gotten my toes and nails done a pretty Easter pink, I bought Barry his lotion and razors... let's just hope they are used separately! I have also managed to return some perfume to Dillard's, and bought a new scent, I shopped in about 50 places for a new purse but damn it, no one has the one I want. Anyone want to be my personal shopper? I am in need of a Tano purse in Pool Blue. I want either the "french nanny" or "boogie bucket" style. Is that REALLY too much to ask for?? I have been stalking the 4 stores that carry Tano bags. They all happen to be the same store, diffn't location... and apparently, they received 1 of each bag at only one store. They won't special order, fuckers, because they want to keep supply/demand high. They keep trying to sell me the purse in a god awful mustard yellow. It's not happening!! I can't find it online either! Argh. Maybe I'll boycott Tano and Mason's and go back to my original lover, Kate Spade. Hrmmmmph!

I'm out!

eta: I FOUND THE PURSE... AND FOR CHEAPER THAN AT MASON'S!! BWAHAHAHA.

Operation: "Breach the Perimeter" is complete!

2008-03-21T19:04:00.003-05:00

So, my date with the buttcam is complete. I'm excited to say that I had a good report and now, instead of every 18months, I don't go back for 3 years!!! No new polyps, and everything else stayed the same. I should post pictures, lmao. Everyone secretly wants to see my peachy clean colon, right?? Anywho... I do have a lovely heroin-junkie arm bruise... thanks to the oddly taped IV and the excess tape. Oh well, it gets me sympathy:) ha!

Now, I'm chillin' on the couch and plan on doing a whole lotta nada for the rest of the evening. Yes, I am a Friday night diva... gym shorts and all. Don't be jealous. The drugs weren't that great.

Maybe I will have ice-cream. Diet is back on tomorrow!! Hmmmm...monkey, any kisses left to share??

Thanks for all of the well wishes...

Be back tomorrow with something not written in a groggy, post-valium stupor.

Gripe(s) of the Day.

2008-03-20T08:21:00.003-05:00

You know.... I miss my DH! Deployments suck. I know that part of signing up means that at somepoint you will be called for duty. HOWEVER!!!!!! If you are National Guard, you sign up to protect THE U.S. !!! Not to fight foreign war... not to wipe Dubya's ass, not to sleep in the flipping desert in a overcrowded tent, not to babysit others who aren't smart enough to take care of themselves. He should be stateside. That is not opinion... it is fact. He did not sign up with the Marines, Navy, Army, etc... he is not a full-time active duty person and he shouldn't be doing his SECOND tour of duty.

Now, onto my second issue:

It's Thursday of spring break.... and instead of enjoying my time off, I get to drink pond scum and stay in the bathroom all day. Yep, lucky me, at the ripe old age of 27 has yet ANOTHER colonoscopy tomorrow. Nope, no history in my family, no reason other than I'm a lucky beotch. Every 18 months, yes, that is considered torture in most countries. As if my PCOS, tubal issues, weight issues, migraines and unwanted hair isn't enough! Let's add colorectal polyps in to make it a good mix. Geesh. My sisters are the picture of health. No weird endocrine issues, no fertility issues, not even money issues... apparently, I was the lucky recepient of all of the above.

So, today will be looong... but tomorrow will suck even more. Think of me when I'm getting intimate with a camera and a guy from India and a room full of nurses. Lucky me.

Until next time....

2008-03-19T16:49:00.000-05:00

Yeah! I'm not a complete computer moron! I figured out how to link this site to my FF page. I sent two PM's asking, but now I don't need it!!

My first blog!!

2008-03-19T12:35:00.000-05:00

I guess I fell victim to "everybody's doing it". Big surprise there. I thought this might be a good way for certain loved ones far, far away to get my daily musings and other such nonsense:)

Anywho, this will be my attempt to give updates on both Barry's current deployment fiasco... and a way for people to get updates on the ups and downs of our infertility drama. Right now, it seems to be mainly downs, but I figure there has to be an up at some point...

So now I'm off to figure out how to link this blog to my signature on other sites. That should make for a few hours of entertainment!!

Until then.....