Letters I never send...

Wow, work has really gotten in the way of my blogging lately. The good news is that we only have 6 more days of school! I am so excited to start my summer, but I'm also bummed that Barry won't be here. We spend so much time together in the outdoors...I always notice his absence more when I'm playing or working outside.



Anyway, the reason for this entry is something completely different. I find that I have been writing Barry quite a few letters lately... letters that I have not sent. These letters are pages of my feelings, insecurities about everything and about our struggle with IF. When I write them, I feel like it is a way for me to get out what I would say to him if he were here... yet I can't bring myself to put them in the mail. I feel that he has enough on his plate without worrying that I'm catching the next train to the crazy farm. Instead, I write these letters, put them away, and then start over and write a letter that is full of surface information only. I don't know what this says about me. I have no issue with sharing my feelings with Barry. We are very open and honest, yet I feel the need to protect him while he is not just my husband, but a soldier.

Maybe when he gets home I will give them to him.... then again, probably not.