Wow, work has really gotten in the way of my blogging lately. The good news is that we only have 6 more days of school! I am so excited to start my summer, but I'm also bummed that Barry won't be here. We spend so much time together in the outdoors...I always notice his absence more when I'm playing or working outside.
Anyway, the reason for this entry is something completely different. I find that I have been writing Barry quite a few letters lately... letters that I have not sent. These letters are pages of my feelings, insecurities about everything and about our struggle with IF. When I write them, I feel like it is a way for me to get out what I would say to him if he were here... yet I can't bring myself to put them in the mail. I feel that he has enough on his plate without worrying that I'm catching the next train to the crazy farm. Instead, I write these letters, put them away, and then start over and write a letter that is full of surface information only. I don't know what this says about me. I have no issue with sharing my feelings with Barry. We are very open and honest, yet I feel the need to protect him while he is not just my husband, but a soldier.
Maybe when he gets home I will give them to him.... then again, probably not.
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4 comments:
I would share them with him later if you feel like it. I was told that writing letters, even if you never intend to send them, is very therapeutic.
(I'm always nervous someone will send them without me realizing it. Right, like he would pick a letter up and assume it needs to be mailed, put it in an envelope, address it and mail it. Ha ha ha, I'm funny.)
I hope he comes home soon.
I think that writing those letters is the best thing you can do for yourself right now. And not sending them is probably a good idea, too. I agree that if you feel it's right when he gets back, that you should show them to him.
I hope he comes home soon (wait, did I hear an echo?) ;)
I agree that not sending them now is a good option. I can't imagine what B has to deal with daily in his 'normal' day to day. I would share them when he came home though, as I'm sure he's probably had alot of the same feelings. Sometimes it feels like IF is such an isolating struggle, I can't imagine how hard it must be to keep it all in. ((hugs))
On a lighter note, woo hoo for summer! I'll bet you're thrilled to get outta school!
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