Sunday, August 24, 2008

My new Knife Sharpener works...

on my knives but apparently not on my brain. I sharpened all of my formerly dull knives and then preceded to use them with the additional force necessary for the dull.. not newly sharpened, knives. I still have 10 fingers, but one is mangled. Maybe I will stick with dull knives in the future. I also managed to ruin some perfectly good zucchini in the blood bath that followed. I'm pissed. Thankfully, mom also gave my fresh squash and it was not yet cut when I decided to add my own special ingredient to the saute pan.

On another note, Barry called late last week and told me that they have the connex packed with all of the extra crap! That's the first step in coming back home! He was really excited. He also thinks that instead of the full week of demobilization, it will hopefully only be 3-4 days, b/c they are doing some prep work in country instead of waiting until they are back in the states. So, give or take a day... we are down to 43 days before he gets on a happy plane out of Kuwait!

Happy Dance, yep... I'm doin' it.

Monday, August 18, 2008


So a stupid MONKEY tagged me, I suppose because she was out of friends. Since I'm the last person to do this, I guess I will need to tag myself 6 more times.

Here are the rules:
1. Link to the person who tagged you
2. Post the rules to your blog
3. Write 6 random things about myself
4. Tag 6 people at the end of your post and link to them
5. Let each person you have tagged know by leaving a comment on their blog.
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is posted.

Here are my 6 random things:

1. I know how to weld. It might take me a few minutes to remember all of the steps, but I was pretty darn good back in the day. If speech therapy ever fails me, well... I guess I have something to fall back on.

2. I LOVE clove cigarettes. I used to smoke them on occasion when I was piss-ass drunk in college. I can smell them and it immediately makes me want to drink heavily and forget how I arrived back home. Yum. Cloves. They make your lips tingle.

3. I am a foot freak. Dry, scaly feet make me want to vomit. I get pedicures even in the winter so that I don't have them. Barry's feet are horrible. I think that his feet are my cross to bear. They are skank-a-licious. I secretly dream about strapping him to a pedicure chair and hiring someone to get a grinder. SRSLY.

4. Speaking of feet... I had a sewing needle in my big toe for almost 2 months when I was about 4 years old. Apparently, I was running through the house and stubbed my toe near my mom's sewing machine. The needle entered and was lying parallel to the bone so it wasn't obvious other than a small drop of blood. Being that I was the third child and my leg wasn't immediately falling off, my mother thought I was fine (she didn't realize that the needle was missing). 2 months later, when my toe continued to swell on and look gnarly, my mom and dad decided that at-home surgery was the best option. He held me down while she picked at the toe with another needle. Niiiiiiiiiice. I guess after lots of screaming and kicking, she decided that squeezing the toe off was the answer! Out popped the needle and all was well. Thank god for stainless steel... and the immune system.

5. If I lived near a casino, I would be broke and owe a lot of money to a bookie. I love to gamble and could spend all of our money on penny slots. I am not allowed to have the debit card when we go b/c I can't be trusted. I find myself saying..."this is the last $100", way too often.

6. I took voice lessons for years... but as an adult, I hate to hear myself sing. I am my own worst critic. The last time that I sang in public was 1997, at my sister's wedding. I hated it. I wish I had taken piano lessons instead. I will always wish that.

I'm not tagging anyone b/c I think all of my peeps have been tagged. I suck like that.

And it begins....

I did not win a pallet of sod. I did not win a steak dinner. I did not win anything. I did not eat a McMuffin, b/c the fuckers were too cheap to provide those this year. I was only offered a sausage biscuit, or a sausage cheese biscuit. I chose the latter and it was gross. I guess when McD's has to get over a thousand of those suckers ready all at the same time, the quality isn't much of an issue. Maybe next year.

Okay, on to the real reason for this blog.... obnoxious people with made-up titles. Yes, these are the people who feel that they can tell me how to do my job. Never mind that they have no idea what SLP stands for, who cares if they think speech therapy is for "teachin' people to talk good", who cares if they are not the ones with a SIX year degree in my specialty field... these people are obviously more qualified than I am to decide on what is best for the students in my building.

I have decided to listen to the crap and not do any of it. I figure unless they come over and do it, it won't be done... and when said person decides to break the law by following these asinine rules, I will not lose my license because of the mess. I am now only meeting with them with an administrator, b/c I don't want to deal with a "he said, she said" BS that is bound to come when I grow the balls to file a complaint.

I'm not sure who told the powers that be that I am a follower... but I'm betting that the powers that be will double check their sources next time.

I will NOT agree to do things that I find unethical. If that means that every document in my building is signed by someone else, then so be it. I am a wonderful therapist. I take pride in my job and I love working with the children. It will be a cold day in hell when someone who is my equal decides that they are my boss.

Let the documentation begin.... I'll look great in court.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Back to the grind..

and it stinks! Well, it's not going to kill me, but I might suffer. The first couple of days back at work have been boring, run of the mill, in-service days. That means that I have been sitting in the back and working on scheduling instead. It usually takes me over a week to get an even close-to-finalized schedule. Each year, I swear, the state makes it more and more difficult to pull kids for this much needed services... so I have to rearrange the solar system to get everything aligned. It is stressful, blech!

Tomorrow is the big day... Chamber of Commerce breakfast. It's where the COC brings all of the teachers in the district... (that's about a billion... seriously, try to find parking and you may think I UNDERestimated the number of cars), to the convention center to tell us that the children are our future, we are the best in the state, they are proud to be a part of the team, we make dreams come true, and so on. The best part is that they provide breakfast... are you ready for this??? Don't be jealous, everyone gets a free egg McMuffin. yep. Oh, and a child sized juice. It's fab. My favorite part is how the district touts the breakfast as a banquet of sorts, and everyone talks about it like we are going to a king's feast... only to be handed a McMuffin. My first year, being as that I was misled, I did not eat before going. Was I ever pissed when I realized that unless I wanted to eat a fellow co-worker, I was going to starve before we were released. I guess it is all worth the time and annoyance (of listening to the speakers), to get entered into the drawing of lots of fabulous prizes. They give away everything from golf passes, to chili's gift cards, to sod (yep... an entire pallet of sod, wtf?... and the most coveted gift... a case of wine. I cross my fingers every year when they are drawing for that one, but I have yet to win. Anything. Oh well, it could be worse, last year, my vegetarian co-worker won a steak dinner from Ryan's Steakhouse and Buffet. BARF. She couldn't give it away. I'll report back on the juicy goodness of my McMuffin... and on the winner of the sod.

If Barry's homecoming could coincide with the deliciousness of the McMuffin... I'd be knocked up for sure. DANG!

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Happy Happy, Joy Joy!!!

57 days until my hubby is flying out of hell!! At the aforementioned meeting, the tentative dates were discussed and give or take 2 days, we're down to less than two months before he is back in the states. That means approximately 67 days until bowchickawowwow... Barry is back HOME!!!!

OMG!! I'm so flippin' excited! I'm ready to get my old life back... go on vacation, sleep through the night, hold hands, go to bed with a bang, and wake up with a smile.

FYI... my blogging will be non-existent for say, oh... two weeks after he is home;) Maybe more!

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Where the hell did my summer go??

I woke up this morning, sun shining, birds chirping, cat meowing incessantly...only to realize that this is my last Wednesday of freedom.

WTF? I had so many plans for this summer, places to go, people to avoid... and here I am, 4 days from the beginning of hell, and I have done a whole helluva lot of nada. Man, it actually feels nice! Since Barry has been gone, I haven't been running around, eating out, taking road trips, nothing. I have been spending some time with my family, but mostly , I have enjoyed the summer. I have slept late, stayed up late, shopped on the Internet, played Wii and watched T.V. Hard life, eh??

I realize my horrible fate means that Mothers all across the US are singing a song of sweet freedom. Buttholes. I'd like their kids more if I only had them in the summer, too... lol

As the summer comes to an end, I am also very happy... I am that much closer to having Barry back. That much closer to living the life that I had planned. I can annoy someone other than Ozzie and Olivia for a change. They will be pleased. I will have my partner in crime, my Clyde!!

Well, Bonnie's couch and TV are calling. She must answer.

Monday, August 4, 2008

It's working!

I was having trouble doing the low-carb diet... and trying to get enough fiber. I started searching for an alternative plan that would still help me lose weight, but not make me count points or pay out the ass for meals to be delivered to my door. Thanks to a friend from a different site, I am doing a very easy food combining eating plan. It's "good for you" food, just making sure not to eat carbs and proteins together. Seem easy? It is... well, there are a few other rules, but nothing that I haven't got cemented in my head after just one week on the plan.

So... I started last Monday, weighing in a way overweight. I'm proud to announce that as of this morning, I'm way overweight.. minus 3 pounds! WOW!! GO ME!

I think this plan should help me knock off some more weight before Barry gets home and I start shooting up again. My goal is to lose 15 pounds by October 1st! Wish me luck!