Tuesday, October 20, 2009

I am not good at juggling.

I usually thrive on having too much to do. I happily go from one to the other and am pretty good at doing a lot of work in a very short period of time... until now.

I have 1001 projects that have been started, need to be started, or SHOULD have been started... yet, I sit here in the recliner, typing to myself. I am less than unmotivated. There is not a good work for my level of UN-motivation. I start to think about being productive, and then I talk myself out of it. WTF? These things aren't going to do themselves (b/c believe me, I've waited long enough to test that theory!), but I still sit here.... thinking about a glass of milk, longing for a glass of milk. Yes, we are out of milk, which makes me want it even more, lol

It's my own fault. I agreed to take classes toward my ESL certification, while working full time, trying to do an nursery by hand painting (and I'm anal) way too much of the room, oh, and making a baby, lol

I am stooopid. Now I am exhausted, everything is half-assed, and I'm mad at myself for sucking at multitasking.

From now on, I'm going to say no... and just sleep when I get a crazy idea to do something else. Sleep makes everything better, right?

Okay, weird ramble over.

Monday, September 28, 2009

We have furniture!

The furniture is here and my wonderful hubs spent the weekend putting it together and dragging it around the room for me:) I'm still not sure on how I want the set up, but I think Barry secretly loves scooting it around, over and over again, lmao.

It is prettier in person than online and is made of real wood, not pressed pulp, so I'm really glad that we decided to get it. Now I need the rest of the material to GET HERE, so that mom can start on the bedding. It was really weird to actually put baby things in the drawers... I may never get used to the idea.

Let's see, this week is parent teacher conferences, and I'm already exhausted. Late nights are not my friend. Plus, my aunt and cousin are staying the weekend at my house and they arrive Thursday when I'm still working... BOOOOOO! So, every spare minute is pent with me running around like a lunatic trying to clean, organize and take my mini BabiesRus store upstairs one item at a time.

Which brings me to this.... pregnancy, back pain and falling-out-crotch pain do not mix with steep stairs.

Monday, September 21, 2009

I passed!

WOOHOO! Even though my dr's were all doom and gloom about my glucose test, I passed with no problem. Failing is 140 and over and I had a 99! I'm stoked. I guess I'm doing something right, lol

Barry and I decided to order new furniture today! WE were planning to re-purpose a few pieces for the baby's room, but it ended up being a fiasco, so we bit the bullet and ordered a complete new set. I'm excited b/c it's exactly what I wanted with no painting/sanding required, THANK GOD!

I'll post pictures when it gets here~!!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Dreading tomorrow...

Tomorrow is my glucose test. Let's see... I'm overweight, have PCOS, am extremely insulin resistant and prediabetic. FABULOUS. Can I add in a few more risk factors, probably >;-/

I am dreading the drink b/c I've heard such dreadful things about it... plus I am sooo worried that I will fail the test. I am REALLY trying hard to eat balanced meals with lots of fruits and veggies... but I guess only time will tell.

I have had a bumpy road to get this far, so I am requesting smooth sailing around this turn. That's not too much to ask is it??

On a happy note, I finally got the permanent filling/crown on my problem tooth today. After months of pain/swelling/inflammation etc... it finally feels like nothing. Good ole, nothing. That's how all teetn should feel!

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Yes, I hear crickets.

I have been blog slacker EXTRAORDINAIRE! There has been no good reason. I simply got wrapped up in life... and thankfully, it's been going very well lately. We found out that Baby Boomer is all boy. Barry skipped cloud nine and is sitting happily on cloud 10. I think I'm still in shock over it all, so I'm still just so thrilled to be pregnant every day, that there isn't much room for more excitement:)

Also, we have finally chosen a name... this little guy will be Miles Hensley Boomer. Hensley is my mother's maiden name and the family name of my grandparents that helped raised me. In the end, I let Barry make the final decision, but I can honestly say that I am thrilled with his decision.

We finally got registered, have the baby's room painted, have most of the furniture either bought or in mind... whew. Now we need to actually get the furniture in the room and ready! I am 24 weeks as of tomorrow, so in reality, we are down to at most 16 weeks... and that could vary greatly! Anyway, now that I am over the "who wants to hear about my fears of having a m/c", I will start posting more about our journey.

We have so much to do, so much to learn, and so much to experience. I am SO EXCITED!!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009


That's how I feel every day starting at about three pm. That means I am fine and dandy at work... and then feel like I've been hit by a truck once I have me time. I guess it's better than all day sickness! So far, I am queen of the bloat. All of my clothes fit (that's the good part of chubby, lol) but I can tell that they fit differently than before. I'm excited to be over 1/2 way to the magic 12th week. Barry is so cute, he now kisses me and tell me he loves me and then pats my belly and does the same to the kiddo. We still need to decide on what we are going to call this bambino. Our friend, M, calls the baby, "Spartacus", lol... I've been saying spawn! Anyway, so far, so good. I guess the nausea reminds me that something is happening in there!

Monday, May 18, 2009


So our Dr's appointment on Friday went GREAT!! I can hardly believe this, but the following picture belongs to me:

That blip in the center of the black high heeled shoe area is our baby:) We have a heartbeat and are measuring RIGHT ON TRACK!! We are so in love with that little guy, indescribable.

Our next appointment is on the 28th, and we get to see the baby again, and I get to give buckets of blood. Please say a little prayer, if you're the praying kind... or a positive thought, if you're not!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

hope to update soon

I have a very important/invasive DR's appointment on Friday the 15th. Hopefully the dr will give me good news on the TTC front. I do not want to jinx my luck, so no more info will be given until that date. If I get the usual or bad news, I may need to head to the looney bin. Just be aware!!

On another note... FLEETWOOD MAC is this weekend! Doug and I will be partying down in KC! I am so excited I can hardly stand myself... after the show we'll be staying right at the Power and Light District (aka BAR ROW), so that should provide lots of fun and entertainment, too! I haven't been to a real concert in over a year. Loverboy doesn't count, lmfao!! I can only imagine the rockin' awesomeness of FM in concert. I am about to burst with anticipation!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, April 3, 2009

so many DR's appt's, so little information

So, I did a sleep study. That was a blazing success, if you judge success by glued hair and exhaustion. Yep, that's all I got out of it. They did say that I was borderline in all areas. Yes, my O2 levels dropped, I stopped breathing for a few episodes, yadda yadda. That basically means that I'm not a good candidate for a mask, and I am a good candidate for a mask.

I go back 2 weeks to see what else they say, they mentioned another sleep, study. I can't wait:-/

So, now for my latest dildo cam appt. I'm actually taking gonal f this cycle instead of follistim, b/c a wonderful fellow IFer sent me their extras. So far I prefer FS, b/c the FS pen is so frickin' easy. The multiuse GF is a bit of pain. Anyway, I am also doing the menopur, too... b/c that has shown to make my follicles much bigger, along with my E2 level. I went for CD8 today and my E2 is 58, so we've def got a way to go. I'm continuing the same meds, and go back for my next scan Monday. This is my first of the last three cycles before pulling out the big guns. My heart is still holding out for a baby that is created by sex, but my body always has the last say, and sadly, it is winning.

I consider myself lucky that Barry is so easygoing with the whole fiasco. Cox on Demand is more than a TV channel in our house;)

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Today is a day of mixed emotions.

No, I'm not pregnant, so those emotions are stagnant.

I have made some amazing friends on this shitty roller coaster called life. Some of the best, ironically, have become my friends and bonded with me over monthly longing, jealousy, bitterness and happiness of the land of infertility. One friend, just found out today that her invitro was a BIG FAT BUST. She is funny, kind, snarky, spunky and honest. She will make a wonderful mother to a very lucky child someday. My heart is breaking for her and her husband. Like most people, she doesn't have the extra cash lying around to do as many IVF's as it takes. She's AMA and didn't stim well. Her two surviving embies didn't turn into her much hoped for twins. I just can't get over how sad I feel for her. It's things like this that make me want to scream and throw a fit. I can only imagine all of the friggin' losers that decided to pee on something today and saw 2 lines.... It should have been her, instead.

Now for the other emotion, happiness and disbelief. 2nd friend, who lost a baby at 20+ weeks, just found out that she expecting. They had given up after the pain of their loss. Decided to go the foster adopt route.... hell, she's not had a BFP in over three years before having her miracle taken from her.... then on the week she planned to throw in the towel, on a whim, she took a test and she discovered she's pregnant. She's scared shitless and thanking the moon and the stars for another chance to bring one home. Please, let this one end on a happy note. It makes the other crap hurt a little bit less.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

another cycle, coming to an end.

So today is 11dpo... and I have my hands on whitey. That's the look/name of my latest test. I hate 11 and 12 dpo, b/c as all veteran TTC'ers know, although the box/websites say not to test until 14dpo, most people get a hint of a line by 11 or 12 dpo. My one and only BFP was there on the eve of 10dpo and I even managed to get a digi to read positive on 11dpo.... so I'm assuming, like 99.9% of all of my previous cycles, this one is another bust.

Now I need to make decisions on how many more injects cycles we will do before moving forward. We are switching to military insurance only, come May. That means I will have continued meds coverage, as long as we solemnly swear to do no means of ART with the meds. Yeah, that's the military's way of giving it to the soldiers even when they're NOT on duty, since most couples need at least IUI.

I'm 3 months from 29. Yikes. I expected to be DONE with kids before 30, not trying to figure out why sex doesn't make babies like we were taught in health class. I also know that if we plan to do IVF, the summer would be the best time to do it b/c I wouldn't have to take off work. So, should I do 3 more injects cycles... and then shoot for IVF in July/August? Or should I do another year of injects, b/c of the insurance coverage... and then do IVF June of 2010... as a present for my 30th birthday. Gah, that sounds sad. Hopefully, I won't have to worry about any of this when I get that BEAUTIFUL 2nd line tomorrow....

Yes, I still dream;)

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

I wish every week were Spring Break.

A year of Spring Break... that's my dream. I think the older folk call it "Retirement", lol. So I decided to sell my Jeep, figured I'd buy myself some time by only listing it on Craig's List... well, holy hell, it sold in ONE DAY. Yep, I got a call and e-mail one hour after I ht submit and whammo, she bought it. That lead to some serious Internet shopping, wheelin' and dealin' with a man named, Wayne... and I now have a brand spankin' new Ford Edge. It is PRETTY. It's Razorback Red, drives like a dream, and smells like no ones hiney but my own. I have never owned a new car, so I feel special. Sad, yes.

So, let's see in the world of TTC. Same dildo cam, different day. My body is tired of my drug habit. I went from having three fatties, just almost mature on CD 9 to one decent one on CD 12. WTF? Where did the other two go?? Into hiding, on vacation, out to lunch? Needless to say, this cycle is no doubt my billionth bust in a many months trying. I may be destined to be that crazy-assed lady that buys those lifelike dolls and takes them to the park, to the store, etc... Maybe I can also be on the discovery special that highlights these weirdo's, erm, I mean, obviously tired of the dildo cam individuals;)

Anyway, today I decided that maybe I'll take a 2 month break to lose these newly acquired 15 lbs... or, like usual, when the day comes to schedule my next monitoring appt... I'll be the first one one the phone. It's an itch I can't stop scratching.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Same shit, different month.

So, I guess most people know that last month was a BUST. I had a whopping 9 day luteal phase. That's fabulous, eh? So when I called up the dr's office to schedule yet ANOTHER CD 10 u/s, the nurse was confused and asked if I was sure... well, let's see, after the 3rd tampon, I was pretty darn sure that I could no longer hope it was just implantation spotting. Ugh.

Oh well, the good news, I finally got to meet face-to-face with the satellite coordinator for the fertility clinic in LR. It was nice to actually get to speak to her and get her take on my slew of issues. She thinks I have an estrogen issue along with the progesterone issue. Man, lucky me! So, along with the progesterone supps, I will now be wearing estrogen patches. I'm a walking medicine cabinet! Good thing that my work doesn't do random drug testing, b/c with my fertility cocktail, I fully expect to have electric green urine in the future! lmao

Let's see... the tally for this week is up to 6 co-workers with pregnant children!! All of the children are within a few years of my age. 2 sets are unwanted pregnancies to unmarried couples, 3 are married less than a year, and one got preggo the first month trying. Again, Lucky me!

Where did I get confused and manage to win the INfertility lottery? B/c when it comes to bad luck, I'm pretty much the first in line!

Sunday, February 22, 2009

The weekend was much better...

than anticipated.

Barry and I had a mandatory 3 day military event this weekend. We were scheduled to go the weekend of the big ice storm, but managed to get out of it... and get permission to do the makeup. This one was in Tulsa. We had to check in Friday afternoon at the Convention Center. We arrive, and no one has any information on us, NO ONE. Fabulous. After several people scratched their ass, they signed Barry up, booked us a room, and gave us directions to the hotel.

Upon arriving at the hotel, we had to argue with the reception desk, b/c they couldn't find our reservation.... fast forward, Barry had a night of meetings and was told he would get the schedule of events. I waited at the hotel.... BAR. I planned to grab a soda in the gift shop, but they were closed, so I found the bar. One whiskey sour turned into three, an appetizer, and chitchatting with 2 pilots from Continental. Barry finally arrived and we had dinner, and more drinks, and more drinks.

I found out that only a TWO HOUR session was mandatory. What? HUH? How the hell?? Whatever, I went shopping, picked Barry up at the meeting, we went to lunch, went to the aquarium, went to a bar, had lots of foreign brews, then we went to the Tulsa Oilers Hockey game Fun! Way more fun than sitting in suicide prevention meetings! Let's just pray that I don't ever need that info, lol

Sooo, since I took my HCG trigger on Thursday, I more than likely O'd on our "vacation"... here's hoping that we caught a healthy egg, and that it enjoyed the relaxing weekend of booze as much as I did. I know that I snuggled into bed each night, hopefully we have an embie doing the same even as I type.

Monday, February 9, 2009

My arm is barely attached...

and I blame all of my pain on B and his tennis match on the Wii;) He plays almost every day, so naturally, he kicked my ass in my first, second and third match. I need to get in practice on the days that he's still at work, but DAYUM, my arm is on fire. I must say, I did beat him on bowling, so his ego isn't quite as big as you would expect.

Anyhoo, Barry and I are back to 100%...well, at least 100% of the crap health that we both have, lol! We are back in the TTC game, so I get to play mad chemist and mix up my drugs. Funny, I have most of my meds stored in the egg compartment of my fridge, b/c it was just the most convenient place. Then I got more than would fit in there, so my meds have taken over the meat compartment. A friend pointed out that it's mighty hilarious that we use the eggs and meat sections to try to make babies. Very fitting, eh?

Who knew that I'd have such a drug habit in my own age??

Saturday, January 31, 2009

My Cat...

is going to either put me in the poor house or make MY hair fall out. He has started licking himself so much that he is removing the fur in large spots and then continuing to lick until he has raw, open sores We have changed NOTHING in his environment.... he has just became OCD about his constant licking.

We've taken him to the vet and he suggested triple antibiotic ointment... which apparently is ecstacy for cats b/c he won't quit licking it off.

We bought and made him wear a t-shirt. He stopped licking his neck and made a new sore on each knee. WTF?

My mom is sewing him a pantsuit, lmao... hoping to cover the sores till they heal. Right now he has on an Elizabethan collar and it's working on parts, but not all of his sores. We're going to have to get a bigger one. If the collar doesn't work and I don't see marked improvement this week, he's going to the pound. JUST KIDDING... but I will be taking him back to the vet.

Anyone have any other suggestions?? Seriously, I'm going to have a cat in a turtle neck, long sleeved, onesie pantsuit next week if necessary.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Ice, Ice, Baby.

Yep, my driveway is a solid sheet of ice. I came within an inch of busting my ass of the driveway when I went to get the mail. I'm pretty sure that my free sample of organic cat treats wouldn't have been worth breaking my arm. I'm hoping that I don't have to leave the house until it's actually ice-free.

Then again, I'll probably have to go to work when it's still icy, b/c ice is safer than snow, right?? I mean, you can actually SEE the snow. That makes it scary:)

If it gets bad, I'll take pics of it. We're expecting more than 1/2 inch of accumulation. YIKES!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Back to the grind...

and unfortunately, it's not the bump n' grind kind;) I have let a friend talk me into gyming it at 5a.m. Nope, it's not natural to be sweaty before daylight, but dammit... I need to lose more weight. GRRR! As usual, I have gotten into the happily, fattily, lazily married stage now that B is back home. He has, too... so he plans to run to lose his weight. Yep, one week of running, B will drop his winter fat. 6 weeks of 5 a.m. "body pump" and I will be down 10 lbs, if I'm lucky.

I hope that all of my children are boys so they can be called "stocky", "athletic", hell, even "husky" is better than fat, or my fav: Morbidly Obese. That's such a nice term. So, I'm not storing chicken wings in my bra, but still... I hope to have room to do so here soon!

Goal #1: gym each day through Friday without complaining too terribly much.
Goal #2: Go from there:-D (I'm eyeballing water aerobics)

Friday, January 16, 2009

Good to go!

All went well with my surgery f/u. Doctor says we can start TTC again as soon as my body decides to get back in the game. They said to call if I'm still waiting for my new cycle in three weeks.... ummm, they forgot that I have provera, so I'm planning to start that at the end of January, so that we can conceive a Valentine's Day baby.

Yes, I'm THAT positive today;)

and for those that have followed my story up till now, I got NO answers as to why things turned out the way they did:(

Next time, I'm going to get only good news from day one.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009


Is my surgery follow-up. Let me just say, if you hear a loud scream, and uncontrollable fit at about 3:30p.m CST, chances are that my DR has told me that they want me to sit it out for the month of Feb. That is not acceptable. We have guaranteed meds coverage until May. That is waayyy too close for comfort. I refuse to give up a month of covered meds.

Anyone have an extra dildo cam lying around that I can rent;) I'm pretty sure I could do injects monitoring without assistance at this point!

Friday, January 9, 2009


Jack Daniels is good. He is a man that knows how to flavor his booze. I am curently enjoying one too many down home punch beverages. I'm finally in a truly good mood for the first time in 2009. Alcoholism isn't looking too bad right about now.

I'm just sayin... Happy weekend, Peeps!

Thursday, January 8, 2009


I have sucked BIG time at updates lately. NO good excuse other than life. I'm taking a few big breaths and hoping that the new year brings us joy and less heartache than 2008.

The end of the year was extremely tough for us.... death of loved ones and unfufilled dreams of a living baby never makes it easy to get out of bed. Even so, my tired ass has to go to work so that Barry and I aren't living in a van down by the river. Sadly enough, we'd have even less room, b/c it would have to be living in a Honda Accord down by the low water bridge.

Let's see... I did make some New Year's Resolutions. Didn't we all?

#1. Update my blog more often:)
#2. Continue with the gym and losing weight.
#3. Gain weight while pregnant with a healthy minime or minib.

Hopefully #2 and #3 will cancel each other out.

Oh yeah, I have officially lost my mind. I've decided to possibly get a booth at the local craft fair in May. My mother is making handmade baby items, and I'm helping her and making some decorative wreaths. Barry's is LOVING the craft area... which is actually our dining room table... hot glue strings anyone???