SRSLY. I decided to go tot the county fair with my nephews, sister, BIL and Mom. I fondly remembered overpriced ride tickets, carnies and fried everything on a stick. All of these things were still going strong when we arrived. We passed the Himalaya (I think it was the same one I almost puked on when I was 6), several "guaranteed to win" a 10cent toy for only 5 bucks booths, lots of fried thingamajigs and then we came to the Zipper. My BIL, the biggest kid of all, kept pestering my sister to ride. She flatly refused. My mother did the same. My nephew, the lucky dog, was too short to ride. Guess what, that left me. The biggest sucka in the south.
After tiring of the begging, I agreed to ride the Zipper with the BIL. A vagrant named "Stony", (well, at least that's what he hand wrote on his name tag) locked us into the metal tube of despair. My dumbass BIL handed the guy extra tickets and asked if he could, "make us puke". Great idea.
Stony started us out by using all of his strength to push us into a head-over-heels spin. I was nauseous after that fiasco and we had yet to actually go anywhere. Lovely. My BIL is laughing hysterically at me cursing his existence, I am praying that the ride will stop, and I keep thinking, "I hope the last guy was somewhat clean," because my face was slammed into the padded bar about a million times.
Anyway, the ride keeps going and going and going and I right when I saw the energizer bunny die, it finally ended. We were on the ride for over FIVE minutes. Yes, you read that right. It was somewhere close to 7 minutes in all. Thank the heavens, I had not eaten anything fried... or else I would have been wearing it as a dress.
After BIL and I stumbled off the ride from hell, we were told that Stony keeps it going until there are enough people in line for the next ride. We were at the fair EARLY. No one else was there. Holy hell, I almost kissed the next riders.
I will NEVER ride the zipper again. That was enough zipper to last an entire lifetime. It was everything I remembered, and unfortunately, more. I swear, my fillings are lose and my uterus is no longer tilted!
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2 comments:
I can't do most of the rides anymore if I have eaten...and sometimes not even then. I remember as a kid them being so awesome and now they look like death traps and my me sick. Luckily for me, so far the only on who can participate likes to throw darts at balloons and try to make baskets. We have a splendid collection of $.25 toys that cost of $5 each.
I love funnel cake though. ;)
The Zipper is one ride I can't do either. I don't like not being able to see where I'm going.
Glad you didn't get sick on that ride, though it would've made a great picture :)
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